Weekend Warrior

Before I recap my awesome weekend and you get to look at more photographs than listen to me ramble know this:

I AM A TOE STUBBER.

If there is something the universe places in my path that is just at the right stubbing angle, I will be HURTIN', FOR CERTAIN.

I probably stub my toes at least once a week, sometimes even multiple times a day.

I like to think it might be something the universe does to remind me that I actually CAN be stopped. 

I dunno, it just seems like I get a good stub in every few fucking days, and I have stubbed so hard that I've actually cried like a wittle baybeeee. Yes.

Just stubbed one GOOOOOD on a conspicuously placed box that and it was totally inevitable. Ugh, whatever. Just thought the world would like to know that.

HERE'S SOME PICS OF MY WEEKEND!

SATURDAY, JOHN'S BIRTHDAY, ME AS DESIGNATED DRIVER BY CHOICE, WEIRD I KNOW!

After sushi we had the 'Kitty litter cake" by Miss Kyra! OMGOSH I laughed my fucking ass off. It looked too gross to eat but IT WAS DELICIOUS!

TO THE GAY BAR!

Me and my chosen family, sickos and gays, and both combined.

Me, John, Amanda (my 'sister')  Elvis and Seth!

Can you believe I am sober here?!

More with my sis Amanda, with gay porn in the backround!

Da boyyyzzz getting their drank on

Jeremiah showed up with Leo from TRASYLVANIA, in the Carpathian m'fckn mountains!!!

I always ask him so many questions about Dracula.

GETTIN' DOWN!

Right before I tried the splits for the first time since my surgery, and I can do them BETTER THAN EVER! WTF???!!! HOW????!!! Who cares, I can still do the splits at 29, I feel young again! Like 21 instead of 29, yeah doggy.

But of course the cameraman was too drunk and dancey to get a shot, so I can't prove it I guess, but IT'S TRUE I'LL SHOW YOU!!!

I am in reality a better dancer when sober, but I always think I am the best dancer when I am drunk.

Sweaty dance floor shot of me and one of my bros Seth

More Jammin'

Skanky myspace angle bathroom selfie, all important shot

THE BIRTHDAY BOY and my very best friend and soul mate JOHN!

Looking skinnier than a starving African child, aka, FABULOUS!

HORNS!!!!

Drunk revellers

Showing off my gigantic booty! HAHAHA

SUPERMODEL WERRRK

From left, Elvis aka The King, me, Jer!

Black light lovin'

WE GOT JOHN JUST FUKIN HAMMERED!

Hahaha great night, it is possible for me to go to a bar, have fun and...

 NOT BE DRUNK AS SHIT! 

From time to time.

SUNDAY

I went out to a place called Glenvis, aka the middle of fuck no where, to model for a couple great local photographers, Kefka from Kefkism Design (who did my wedding shots) and Jennifer Jorgensen of Picture us here Photography!

Kef will make me wait to see his shots but here's Jennifers!

Not sure where she took this shot! It was definitely in one of the abandoned houses we shot in!

This is what a psychopath looks like.

I really really love this shot. First time I got to wear this dress, and got it just right.

I've been an admirer of hers for a couple years and was honored that she wanted to shoot me! We had such fun too!

Today was mostly average, except when I went to Safeway after work.

I always look for the best possible and closest parking, cause I hate carrying a million groceries and I DON'T use carts, too annoying, and can slide into others cars and they cost a dollar or something. Forget it.

So here I see a ROCKSTAR spot, but the idiot in the huge ass hemi parked next to it crooked and into my spot a little but I said MEH, I can fit.

Well I purposely parked a little closer to the hemi that parked like a fool and had me a little chuckle about it. 

GO AHEAD, Smash your door on my car, it's old and made of steel, it's blue and will only fuck up your paint job!

HAHAHA
I go in my head as I walk into Safeway to get food for the week.

I come out and THIS RIGHT HERE is on my window:

It's no secret that I enjoy getting a rise out of people especially when they are total idiots.

Looks like I pissed him off, but it sure made my day extra special!

I'm totally keeping this note in my car for the next asshole parking Hemi I come across.
These guys are like AL-BUR-DA!!! ME HAVE TRUCK! ME PARK LIKE FOOL! ME NO CARE!

Here's what I am doing right now:

Being albino, wearing my woollen Hobbit hat that has a bit of an amish chic feel that I love, it goes with all the other wool I'm wearing, my skirt socks and leggings. With a fluffy little curled up kitty in my lap. Decent Monday I say.

-E.