HELLLOOOOO BLOGESPHERE!!!
I have emerged from the wreckage and ALIVE!
Well, I am not going to go into a minute by minute breakdown of the last 2 weeks of March but lets just say they were stressful and sick days, most of the last week at least I have been dealing with an actual cold, not just fighting a little baby bug it was the big momma, it started with that scratchy throat and progressed into a full blown cough, shortness of breath and a really creepy sounding voice, like I smoked 8 packs of cigarettes a day, I scared even people like Jess Adam that has known me since I was 15, she was like,
Your. Voice.
I had that
"Death Rattle"- not a nice sound.
Of course I try and laugh and I don't laugh quietly, so I sounded like a braying donkey, getting the occasional kick in the rear end.
It got progressively worse, and by Monday I was feeling like a bag of greasy stir fried ass so I got in my grubbiest give-ups and got in my car to go to the doctor, turn the ignition and my stupid car won't start, well, I got in some mood after that let me tell you.
Old Shitbox was living up to it's name, just literally a glorified garbage can on wheels for a couple of days she was, until some miracle of satan- SHE STARTS.
Hasn't died yet. That almost makes me worry a little more...
BAH!
You know what they say- Rock it till the wheels fall off.
I only had to call a Taxi ONE TIME!
So these were just minor problems but with all of these minor issues stacking up together all the while enduring some PMS from the depths of the deepest hell is coursing though my veins, I started to become unravelled, and looked and sounded like a scary killer for most of the week, all the while I am spreading the plague to all my friends and all of us are all stacked up in one big sick mushy smelly useless pile of garbage, all of us doped up on Nyquil and NeoCitran, a bunch of stinking unshowered bums.
Well I am feeling much better today.
I wanted to write earlier this week but my pattern of thinking was clearly disturbed by the cold medication, I tried and all I could muster was a bunch of non-sensical garbage, with the occasional sarcastic remark followed by some shit I thought was poetic until I read it and really it was a bunch of drugged up craziness from the meds, I prefer to not take that shit but this was the kind of cold where I could have passed out from coughing so hard, I had to take a suppressant.
Some people think its code to just suffer through a cold without drugs.
"Not all bugs need drugs!"
Fuck that noise this bug needs a drug, gimme the daytime/nighttime pack, so I can take the razor edge off what could be a week of pure hell.
With the daytime stuff I can go to work and be productive, sometimes if I'm really hopped up I am probably even more dynamic than usual! I am moving around in stiletto heels and want to do my makeup in a pewter smokey eye and full hair, I am all over the place and I even laugh more.
Half way through the day I'm taking a couple more with a smile on my face going, yeah!
This stuff is the SHIT!
It usually catches up with me by the time I get home and sit down, and you feel like you are crashing off a caffeine buzz, your head is swimming, your eyes feel pried open, but inside you feel like trash and just want to die, so that's when it's time to pop open the blister pack with the little half moon on it, and nighty night bitches.
I decided a few years ago that I couldn't afford to have a cold and that if I did I would load up on the Tylenol cold day/night and I would just go about things as I normally would except obviously not drinking any wine or anything like that, just taking the damn pills to ride it out, and function at a higher level than a normal sober sick person in bursts throughout the day, and if you do or say anything weird you can blame it on the cold medicine!
Before cold medicine:
After cold medicine:
Now my poor gay husband is sicker than I was, as he prone to pneumonia and has been knocked right on his ass from it, poor thing will be on antibiotics for a couple of weeks, sad face.
I still have the lingering side effects of that beast, but I feel so good I am happily doing laundry and singing to music, I kind of like the smokey jazzy effect it has had on my singing voice. I have never sung more in my life as much as we do here at the big gay mansion, we break out into musical numbers about just about any old thing around here.
Makes it a very fun happy place to be.
Even if you can't sing you should still try, and even if you suck I will respect you more if you just sing your little heart out, no matter how much it sounds like feral cats being beaten with babies, just belt 'er like a Canadian Idol reject!
Here is one of the songs on my laundry playlist, stuff that keeps me excited about cleaning but I can still sing along to!!!
Even with half a voice, on cold medicine I'm like fucking Celine Dion.
;)
I got my mom into the above band. I played her their metal version of The Phantom of the Opera and she was headbanging a week later!
I have to include my non-metal selection of the evening, I don't care if some say they are gay in the bad way, I love this song, it is truly beautiful and FUN. to sing.
LOL.
Nighty night bitches, and stay away from the black plague, but if you do catch the death I urge you to grab that trusty day/night blister pack!
-E.
