Too lazy to actually write, here's some photos with dumb captions and very little punctuation

My evening

In photos

SUPERMODEL WORK

Work, turn to the left, work, now turn to the right
Work, sachey chantey

Obviously this is going to make me laugh for hours

Staring at my pretty new Fleur de Lis Thomas Sabo charm for my collection- from my honeybot as an anniversary gift!!! EEEEEEE!!!

Made Chicken and potatoes with nothing but a little oil and a bunch of fresh herbs from my little balcony garden

I climbed a hill- a Koonunga Hill

Carved an impressive artisan pencil

(Just kidding.)

ER-MAH-GERRRRRRRDDDDD

-E.

Sorta random, little rambles, blood red, crazy tent

Well, I am bored and feel like sharing the few photos of my bro's wedding I have.

AWWWWWZZZ. Of course I was thinking of my nuptials. That's Andy in the background, My cuz KiKi's BF! He's looking' all... what's up???

Love this one, Fab Grandma Fran, my wonderful father and awesome mum, and me and my hubs. With a flash of Kirsten in there. (Kiki)

I used my tissue given to my for "my tears of joy".

I was like, DAMN! Should have done that at my wedding!

After many a Chardonnay, my Brother The Groom with a flash of Cory The Best Man laughing in the background. Ahhh gooooood fun, perfect wedding.

One funny yet awkward moment during the reception, this very conservative woman came up to me and Alicia if you are reading this I had never seen her before... but she had curly dark grey hair, shorter, anyways, she walks up to me after blatentedly staring at my hair for quite some time, and says:

Now, what would you call that colour?

Actually I was completely honest and said with a smile:

It's called blood red.

She seemed taken aback like that had to be a joke, but no siree, that there is the colour, special effects hair dye in BLOOOOOODDDD REEDDDDDDDD

Yup, blood red baby. Just in case you are wondering how I got my hair so fucking red, this is how.

I started with bleach blonde, that's how you can get it so bright.

Anywho, I am feeling strange from my steroids, these have built up in my system and I am becoming more and more powerful. I need about 6 hours of sleep to work, and somehow not tired... like ever.

It's a blessing and a curse.

Suddenly I got the taste for fine Champagne, and it's midnight. Wow, I am really not getting into the groove of RELAXING at night. When I took intron a I felt weird and wired with my home injections, and then I'd crash- late. That was almost the best because I was more likely to sleep through the side effects that hit by 4 am, so staying up till 2 made sense.

(I would seriously pop that Moet and Chandon I got from mom and dad, but I think Matthew would be mad at me for drinking it without him heh heh heh.... won't do that, tomorrow is a school day!)

 Anyways with the cancer drugs I developed a couple habits.

I'd drink tea and water constantly and have strange snacks, such as a pile of goat cheese with olive oil on it, pancakes with butter and brown sugar, gummies and kale salads.

Lots of peanut butter and grapes.

Or sweet apples. 

All night.

I'd feel so hungry then when I'd wake up I was never hungry, but forced  brekky on myself.

So blah blabby blab, I am OVER that shit, and going out to St. Paul area for some camping and straight up partying MAY LONG, oh snap.

Gonna be fun.

Hilarious but functional bed someone used backpacking in Europe... hey, gotta do whatcha gotta do I suppose. I'm setting up my 6 man tent whoopty whoop!

IN OTHER NEWS:

May I suggest you put HOBNOBS Milk or Dark Chocolate Digestive cookies on your grocery list RIGHT NOW?????

I'm pigging out on them right as I type and there are crumbs all over me and chocolate on my face these are soooooo goooooooood!!!

I took a picture, but I look too disgusting in it to post.

I curse my penchant for chocolate, but it is natural, me and chocolate.

Ok, so no goat cheese or pancakes at midnight, but I still must have some HobNob deliciousness.

I know I  am slowly returning to some kind of normal cause a little bit of a midnight snack is normal for me, not the buffet I'd prepare after my shot. In bits.

Anywhoozles, going to bed, gotta work, hit the post office, grab various items then fish with my husband.

YES! FISH! 

We betta get a fish this time, mama needs some dinner!

-E.

A van full of Birds of Prey

Lazy, not feeling all writer-y and stuff, so here I am throwing random pics at you.

And if you thought that there would be birds of prey in this entry, I'm sorry to let you down, it's simply a line I heard on wire tap a few days ago and laughed about it for quite a while.

These are simply Photobooth photos, god I love having a photo booth built into my computer.

Sooooo muchhhhh fuuuuuuuuun!!!!

Rockin' the Amy Winehouse wings with the MAC liquid liner and they tried to make me go to rehab and I said 

sure, sure sure

(sounds like a vacation to me)

Oh man I am totally showing off my blue blue blue nails, damn they look good.

Come over here and I'll paint your nails, any colour of the rainbow.

Here it is:

I am a BAGEL PIG.

Bagels with cream cheese is the ultimate quick solution to munchies/low blood sugar/ empty tummy,

so I always have them on hand, usually flax seed or twelve grain, and toast them to 4 and put em on the bagel setting on, the one Matt hates so much, and I think is the smartest thing ever.

I always buy full fat cream cheese though, the light stuff SUCKS!

Here is me taunting Miss Sabbath with the bagel, she goes bananas for cream cheese.

A sort of still moment....

Rare for Miss Sabbie.

Nicknamed Sabbathon.

Blurry bagel in the corner, Sabbie plotting her way to the bagel.

How bout some more silly photo booth pix???

Well they are happening.

Keeping Cancer away with an apple a day.

Whenever I have that, over salted, over meated, fresh from a bad and embarrassing cookie binge,

I reach for an apple.

So refreshing and restoring.

I will admit I do sometimes have dreams that I bite an apple too hard and break off teeth, and with my current losing teeth out of nowhere- a lovely intron a side effect- no bigs, booked a dentist appointment.

Gala and Red Delicious are my very favourites. 

Green apples don't quite do the same for me as a red one.

SO! I bought these cheepo sunglasses at some mall ten buck store, you know, Claires or one of the others, and found these glasses for something like ten bucks, and I can treat them like crap and they haven't broken yet, and still look good. I wished I had bought a few pairs, because sometimes when I find something perfect for me AND on sale I will buy a few.

Same glasses right?

Well yes, EXACTLY the same, EXCEPT in a dark brown colour.

I found this new pair at Wal-Mart a couple weeks wandering the Supercentre with John yessiree.

I can't tell you how much it excites me that I have a few (I bought two brown and two black, cause they were even cheaper at wally world.)

Accessories horder? 

Yeah, kinda...

Ok here's a confession-

I'm a hand sanitizer.

It didn't start until I started chemo and was warned to avoid getting sick, and always wash your hands, there is hand sanitizer all over the chemo rooms at the Cross, and with all the "sick" happening around you, you feel the need to use the sanitizer often.

I started collecting them for my purse, and went to Bath and Body works with a friend around Halloween and they had these spooky pocket sanitizers for like 50 cents or something, so I bought a ton of them.

Right now I'm using the best smelling one ever-

"Chocolate Chew- choccolahhh"

With a ghosty.

Cute and makes my hands smell like chocolate chews, literally.

I recommend you find this! Fentimans Rose Lemonade.

I bought it at the hippy mart, aka Planet Organic.

Here's the fun effects of my mac's Photobooth: Warning I look pretty fucked up in some.

 THE FLOATING EYE SEES ALL

Twisted Sisters

This is what our elementary school photographs should have looked like. That'd be awesome.

HEADLESS

I kinda look Christina Ricci-ish here.

I don't think I can let my husband see this pic, it's like the ugliest I've been-

well, on the outside anyways ;)

I love me some BIIIIGGG TEXAS HURRRRR!!!

Unfortunate accident?

 I once glimpsed apon a gentleman with some unfortunate affliction that made his face look pretty much just like this. It was on a train years ago and the image is stuck in my mind forever. 

Here I am recreating what I have to see in my mind everyday.

Well not everyday.... but sometimes....

With this neck I'd be super desirable in Burma... I think it's Burma...

Slightly cheesy thermal camera (not really, but cool anyways) pic to say goodnight.


I'm up way to late and could stay up taking more dumb pics but I have a big day tomorrow!!!


TOMORROW!
 I work for about four hours, zip to the Liquor store, come home and doll up ridiculously and await all the wonderful people who came to my side and helped so much with dealing with the surgeries, chemo, and all the crap.


I am gonna get Hobbema Valentine Drunk.
(Only a few of you will know who she is.)

Well, not until later, when things start getting messy.




LOVE Y'ALL FOR READIN' PRETTY THINGS!


-E.

Laundry weirdo, Inspector Clouseau, and texts... no calls

EVERYTHING!

BUT NOTHING!!!

Here is a random one for all y'all's. 


This one comes with a warning label:


IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO WINO ERIN IS, STAY AWAY FROM THIS ONE, I MAY STRONGLY OFFEND YOU FOR I ONLY SPEAK THA TRUFFE WHEN I DRINK THA 
GEEE-ZUSS JUICE UP IN THA HOOD. 
SENSITIVE AND OVERLY SELF AWARE BEWARE!

I'm drinking a good Chardonnay and watching dance moms, randomly smashing in laundry and folding, smashing and folding, Salem is broadcasting the meow radio show in each corner, and seems to only want food, not attention or play. 

So last night I was working on the laundry disaster and came into the laundry room round midnight to get the last load of the night and there was a strangely dressed very tall man folding my towels, in the most obscure and kinda wrong way. 

Blonde with an accent that was either Dutch, or maybe even Transylvannian or something very different, I don't imagine these two sound anything alike but it was late and he was apologizing for touching my stuff as soon as I walked in the room, probably stayed in too many European Hostels.

Wearing a not so right for him teal sweatshirt with some tourist spot in god knows where across the front, clam digger sweats and high top slippers, and I've never seen him come in or out of the building.

Just because he was strange in appearance or accents doesn't mean I was offended by him folding my towels, even though he was folding them in a very strange way, some European folding technique for people who only own three towels, makes them bulkier and less storable.

I thanked him with a smile for folding my stuff, but he kept apologizing.


I kept telling him that it was fine and very nice of him to do so.

I told him my name was Erin and me and my husband Matthew lived in 305 and he was welcome to borrow a cup of sugar or a couple eggs, and he looked confused and said his name was Mario.

So Mario, you're weird, even by my standards.

I expect people to be kinda "weird" but this was definitely up there on my weird-o-meter.

So the laundry keeps on, it's like it never ends.

I just took a load downstairs and ran into the CENSUS man, YAY!!!

He is some British Codger type modelling his look after Inspector Clouseau, and he just came to my door and asked me:

HOW MANY PEOPLE LIVE HERE?

MARRIED OR SINGLE?

YEAR AND MONTH OF BIRTH?

DRIVE OR BUS?

Not much else, but he managed to complain about the horrible health system in the states, and how he popped his shoulder out in Denver and they had to pop it back in under some "humanity law" and managed to get in several times how he likes my pale skin, somehow not totally creeping me out and violating me. 

Then he said his pen was running out (he was using a pencil) and then told me more about working only three days a week so the government can't thieve too much of your money... and then about his pension not being enough, so he has to have two jobs.... and I am thinking:

well you look pretty healthy other than your fucked up shoulder, which I'm not kidding was as high as his jaw bone and the other was low low low, and somewhat dislocated itself, I kept thinking about how he had something else in him other than brit codger and then he told me about how his mother is Spanish but it was too fast and I started to wonder if he just had all those papers and knew how to look OFFICIAL and really just wanted to talk.


It probably took 20 minutes when it could have taken one minute, tops.


Inspector Clouseau is fucking lonely as fuck and needs to act like he's getting paid cause he's out of his mind and really is just an anarchist in disguise, and now he knows that I'm married and live in 305.


I like how he used my door knocker, three slow raps, and was such a fucking weirdo.

IN OTHER NEWS


What's with people who nevvvvvver answer phone calls, only texts?


Like, I wanna hear your voice.


Now I can feel my blog getting me into trouble again, with the way I say things but shit, I understand a text is noncommittal and you can get around to it whenevz, but c'mon now, to never never never answer a phone call.... what kind of bizarre non communicating humans are we that we don't have a house phone (most people I know)
and don't even answer our cell phones for a chat?


Is it that we like to be able to ponder what we would say in the text, with time for 20/20 hindsight even, some people answering texts two days after they were sent or not at all.
So why do we have modern technology then? If not to use it to our full advantage to: 


COMMUNICATE


Something that I feel can slide so quickly with Facebook and texts, and it's sad really.


When I was 14 and had some stinking, sticky lump of juice filled gossip I'd pick up the phone and call whoever was my BB at the time, and spill, spill spill, orally.


Not this constant and cold feeling texting.


By the way this is just a general view without anyone in particular in mind. 


Ok maybe several.


Throughout many years really, since people stopped answering phone calls and only texting.


I use texting all the time, but whoever I text, I call.


If they pick up or not isn't a determinate of what I think of them as humans, if I care enough to call or text them at all at least I know I can share great and warm moments with them in person. 


Thing is that I long to speak with those I love, and wish that some of them would have the same desire to return my call, and not just pretend it never happened and send me a text of randomosity later on, like a day later, maybe three.


It's funny cause I wonder if why someone wouldn't want to talk with me on a phone they bought and paid for communicating with, if it is just simply a phobia of pushing one's face against something they use with their fingers, or if it's that I always call at the wrong times (blaming myself) or that I'm not cool enough for them (blaming myself)


I also wonder why they would want to struggle through time with me in person if it's so hard to have a convo on the phone real-quick. 


I have had SOOOOOO many friends over the years since this texting technology has been so easy and affordable, and I truly believe it has ruined the way we communicate with one another, some more than others and believe :


"just a text"
or not
can RUIN a friendship, as I have seen with many many people, and have danced on that line myself.


A text is cold unless you can talk to that person later, or always send a heart and an XO.


That's my NO GUFF baby.


TEXTING WTF???


I'll still use it though.


And Facebook.


Instagram too....


But: AND THIS IS IMPORTANT:


 FUCK PINTREST!


GARBAGE! 

THE EMOTICOTION MOTION IN THE TEXTING OCEAN.

AN ANIMAL.




-E.

Lemon Drop Down Ho Down and other random musings

So after a busy last couple of days I am super tired today. I had my fifteen minutes yesterday doing all those interviews, and I was super wired after all of that last night and was awake late. Woke up exhausted then went to work for a couple of hours, but left early to see my dermatologist. I went to see him because I have spent the last few weeks in an itchy hell covered in excema! It is just getting worse. Normally I'd just deal but I can't anymore. I tried every natural remedy and drugstore cream you can imagine, and everything stopped working. I had to start the steroids. It already feels much better. This horrid rash started on my neck and is now all the down my chest and up to my chin and on my eyes. Yucky I know. It itches so bad I scratch it in the night and I go batty in the day. My doc promised me I'd be clear by Christmas. Thank zombie jesus. I'll keep my fingers crossed about that one.

This week has been a whole bag of craziness, and it's only Wednesday! On tap for the rest of the week: Tomorrow I'll be doing my soon-to-be-bride cousin Francesca's lashes for her wedding on new years eve, and Friday I am going with Katie to a private shopping event at Holt Renfrew... which is totally something I'd normally never do but since it is the christmas season I should buy myself a present I think. Then Saturday I am going to my Grandmas bday celebration and after that going to the Chinese Gift Exchange and potluck at John's. Wow, I hope I feel ok the next few days cause it's gonna be a doozy!

I had my shot tonight and I expect the side effects to hit by 4 am, it seems to happen like clockwork. I wake up to my toes aching and a wave of feverish pain washing across my body. I hate that part of my week.

In other news I had a Vietnamese sub for dinner, watched a few episodes of one of my favourite shows of all time- Friends, (I know, corny but so hilarious!) Also, my Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab oils are on their way! For those of you who don't know what BPAL is they are an online gothic perfumery, heres a link:

http://www.blackphoenixalchemylab.com/

Katie introduced me to these oils. She told me one day that she bought a few of these goth perfumes, and I am usually funny about buying any beauty products online because I can't smell them so I pish poshed KT and forgot about it. Then I am over at her place- skyview  RV storage and trailer park- and she shows me her goth oils. I am instantly enchanted and decide I need a few of my own.

Well a year later I have thirty oils and always have a couple in the mail. They are precious to me and I find myself obsessing over them. It's like they now have a power over me. I even have my husband wearing them. Please check out their site!

Wow, that was random news, this entry is so "diary"!

How about I end this random newsflash with some random pictures!

 WITH FEAR I KISS THE BURNING DARKNESS

 OHHH MAN THIS WAS A FUN EVENING. Summer 2010, Raygun Cowboys 10th anniversary show. I started the night doing lemon drop shots with a lesbian, danced my ass ragged, partying hard with some of my besties. I had so much fun, I don't even remember getting home. Once I somehow got back to my apartment, I believe the party continued until I woke up on the living room floor at seven am with a very big headache and thirsty as hell. The next day I lay in bed with the taste of vodka lemon and sugar in the back of my throat and I truly wanted to die. Good Times. From Left: Elaine! This girl is givin' er in this pic. I love it cause she's actually fairly mellow lady, she's a mommy with the mostest, but when she parties she gets wild and I love it! Love ya lady! Next is me of course, full of vodka, causing a righteous ruckus. The guy next to me is my best gay John. He was a walking party that night. Look behind me at the creeper with the glowing eyes- that's Lucas! He is my non-biological little brother. I love my Lucas to pieces! Anyways, this evening shall be known as the Lemon Drop Down Ho Down. That was a once in a lifetime party.

 I love these creepy windmills in Southern Alberta. Matt and I broke up once and when he courted me back to him he took me on a trip to Nelson and we drove the scenic route. These were scattered all the way down the highway and they look so cool, so haunting. Something romantic about them...

I had to post this. My husband is so lovely. After I had a major surgery for my melanoma I was sad cause I sat in a recliner for two months and couldn't reach my toes. I felt so wrong not wearing nail polish. My sweet husband offered to paint my toes. Of course I said yes but I thought "this is going to be a mess" but he did a great job! What a sweetie. Love ya honey!

I am sorry, I am not anti vegetarian, but I believe I need meat to survive. I am a carnivore. Without animal flesh I simply will not live. I find with my blood sugar issues if I don't get protein every four hours I faint. It is a curse passed down to me by my lovely mother. So yeah, this girl is a meat eater. Monkeys, koalas toucans- you name it. Deeeeeelishhh.

-E.