Friday night picture show

-E.

Friday couch jockeying, backscratcha and bottle stories

Here are some things that happened in this last hour.

I crafted a mini version of myself

I found a BACKSCRATCHA and scratched my back goooooood

(if you didn't already hear me complain about itching, the treatment I take gives you the ITCHIEST skin straight from your worst nightmares. It itches CONSTANTLY and I wake up scratching in the night. Not just lightly, I dig loud enough to wake Matt up. Nothing does much to soothe the crazy itch so I use various implements to get in there and do what I shouldn't do- scratch that shit Tyrone Biggums style.)

This what what I look like all the time.

While I am scratching my back, why wouldn't I scratch my arms too?

(The writing on the mirror is a note from Matt)

BUTTSCRATCHA!!!!

Yes, that is my ass, it grew in the last few months. I put on 5 pounds and my Oncology nurse Colleen said I looked nice and healthy. I guess it is unusual for people to gain weight during treatment.... 

I cleaned my rings up, just by soaking them in vinegar and water for an hour. Gave them a light scrub with a soft toothbrush and then BLING BLING BEAUTY!!! OMG! Those diamonds sure sparkle when they are clean. BOOM!

So like I said in my title, I am couch Jockeying pretty hard right now. I worked my four hours today and it just wears me right out. 
K not exactly but I am feeling the lazy wave wash over me and I think I will dedicate this evening to my television and a little sake.


I haven't started drinking the sake yet because I LOVE SAKE and it tastes so good to me, I could end up destroying that bottle in just over an hour, it wouldn't be the first time.


Here's a couple stories of my ability to kill the bottle in an hour.


One time a few years back when Matt and I were a new thing, and my brother was single living in a partypartment, and Matt and I would come 'round there to booze it up with him often. Our dad went to Mexico and brought Daley a nice bottle of tequila, and he gave it to me to bring to him.


It just happened to be St. Patricks day as well.


So I grab my man, tell him we've got a bottle of tequila to drink and he goes 
"I don't like tequila. I'll stick to whisky."


I'm like COOL! More for Daley and I.


Daley cracks it and we gave 'er. 
That bottle was gone in one hour.


Well the night wasn't close to being over so Daley and Matt go to the liquor store and get a bottle of Sauza, which didn't taste the same as the very decent Mexican Tequila we had just drank,( don't ask me what it was called, I was hammered. )


I know once I've had enough booze and blind drunk things just all taste the same to me, so I found a way to get that Sauza in me. I could drink 4$ wine when completely shitfaced. It is possible we finished a second bottle that night, and Matt and I stayed till dawn and left in a boozy disgusting greasy mess, to have a shameful sleep and bad hangover to follow.


Now don't judge me on this, but one time probably about eight or nine years ago I polished a bottle of wine in ten minutes.
Ten minutes.
I can't remember EXACTLY how this went down but I remember I was mad, perhaps at the douche bag boyfriend I had at the time, and went to a girlfriends to vent/party. I was upset and stopped at the beer and wine store on the way home from work, so it would have been pretty early, seven or eight in the evening.


I bought three bottles of wine and took the bus and train into Burnaby.


I get to my friends place (who is no longer a friend, perhaps because she would always be around if there was wine, and if there wasn't wine she was gone with the wind)  I crack a bottle and chug it. I am calling the guy names, venting and yelling about my dumb boyfriend and before I knew it bottle number one was gone.


Now what I think I remember about this night is the first bottle got me loaded, the second bottle went down in an hour or so, and don't ask me what happened to the third. Pure destruction is what that was. The evening likely ended with my dickish but sober boyfriend driving to Burnaby to pick my sloppy ass up.


Now I know there has been other times I polished a bottle really fast, but when you do that you get DRUNK and are likely to forget about it. At least that's what I do, pretend like it never even happened.


So all this talk about polishing bottles makes me want to warm up my sake, and I can truthfully say you could make me do just about anything after half a bottle of sake, but a whole bottle in, lets just say, I'm a REAL party.


-E.

Fucked up Friday, Satanic Saturday

FUCKED UP FRIDAY
(by fucked up I mean drunk)

So, last night was LACED UP and that we did!

Now, I missed half the show because there was a queer system where they had people with tickets in the same line up as those without tickets, what genius thought up this idea? We froze our corseted asses off outside Empire Ballroom at West Ed.

Melissa and I couldn't handle the freezing so we went to the washroom by the casino entrance to drink the cider we brought with us and on the way we met some dude named Silver Dave. He asked if we were going to the cabaret. We said yes but we aren't standing in that line up and so he went and stood for us. We had a couple ciders and had a bathroom photoshoot.

Unfortunately most of those pics are on Melissa's phone, so I can only tell you they are amazing of course, bathroom shoots always are, but here's the basics:

This girl MOSHES in those boots. Definition of a badass metal head. Miss Diva here is my ultimate party buddy. When we get together it is sure to be trouble. That's why I love her.

That's a weird look on my face... I probably had to sneeze but my corset was too tight I couldn't!

What I didn't take pics of was the burlesque performances, which I am not usually keen on... my opinion on this could offend people. So I'll just shut my mouth on this one. But I must say, the headliner chick Raquel Reed, who is a very interesting looking model, burlesque dancer, did an amazing fan dance that captivated the audience. She was really really good.

She pretty much ruled.

I of course didn't take a picture, but here is what she wore, photo courtesy of Facebook creeping.

Fucking insane.

From Left! Miss Randy (Rachelle), Jess and meeeeeee

Once we finally got in we missed had missed the fashion show! That was a little disappointing because my foxy friend Jess walked in this beautiful purple number I wish I owned.

This is of course the only pic where you can see my corset! I should know better to get myself at good angles... but you get the picture. 

Jess, random guy- (it was his birthday!) Randy

(I now call you Randy, Rachelle)

Jess is seeing the party in 3-D after dancing' the night away.

I got this beautiful custom metal Petrine Cross from a cool guy named Micheal Scorpio  who is a photographer/ metal fabricator here in the city. He was selling them at the show. It has a purple sheen.
 I LOVE IT!
I think I will turn it into a rosary.

End of the night drunk duck faced bitches.

Jimmy's going- How did I get such a hot wife???

Bottle service Bitch!

They all got dranken. Don't worry.

This is what too much fun looks like.

End of the night squinty eyed drunken beast bitches.
Waiting in the longest coat check line EVAAAA.

So luckily I was there with this crazy bitch and she knows EVERYBODDDYYYYY. Everybody in Edmonton. There was a gothy, weird but cute young guy who's name I don't recall but I feel like it was simply Xe, offered us a ride home and claimed to be straight edge therefore sober, so of course we accept.
First he drives us to Mickey D's which is always a mistake, a glorious drunken mistake, then then to drop off Melissa, and then me. I told this kid my life story, well at least this last year, and he thought I was crazy when I told him I narrowly escaped death from skin cancer, he didn't apparently know anything about it. I think he thought I was just nuts and had to be lying about the chemo, because I still have hair.

I get home and it's 330 am. I decide it's too late to take my shot, with Matt sleeping and me being a wobbly drunk I decide against taking it.
(I will pay for this on Monday with my next shot, it is bound to be a horrible day Tuesday....Good thing all I have to do is go in for a blood test....the rest of the day will be a write off.)

So, I get home, smash the big mac I bought in my face and then am overwhelmed by a sick, yet satisfied feeling, and decide to hit the hay.

Now I am lying there, unable to shut my eyes. I lay awake till about seven o'clock, feeling almost wide awake, like I had too much Pepsi, or someone put liquid cocaine in my drink, one or the other!

SATANIC SATURDAY
(666)

I wake up at the super early hour of noon, and somehow pretty alert, a wee hungover but not what I had expected! I call KT and she is back from the desert and we've missed each other, so I hop in my car to get us Starbucks so we could drink coffee and be funny, and so I could pick up my new oils!

Smut 2012

Friday the 13th

Smut is one of my favourites, and this years version has more cherry in it, less boozy, I really like it.

Friday the 13th started off amazing, I could really smell the nutmeg and frankincense, and then the Irish moss started overwhelming it. It's still interesting, I'll just put it in my box and take it out another time of the month, and it will will smell different. That's what I love about these oils, they change.

My collection grows!!! CACKLE!!!

I love a goat on a Saturday afternoon.

Mr. Mauser cat showing me his bottom

Little Miss Fookie in her condo

Miss Miso hanging out being pretty

Random squishy boob ball

MauMau may being loved up something fierce
(KT didn't wanna show her face, she was playing shy)

So then around five today, I tell KT I am hungry and gotta go home to eat something and see my huzbee, and KT had to go to a party, so I drive her downtown and drop her off and head to the grocery store.
Two minutes later I get a phone call- it's KT and she got her dates mixed up- the party is tomorrow.

I come zipping back to pick this crazy biatch up and take her home and feed her fried chicken from Safeway and we make a delicious salad of mixed greens, cherry tomatoes, dried cranberries, feta cheese and avocado.

Now I am relaxing Saturday style watching that dirty bitch Lisa Lampanelli, snap! The mouth on this woman.

-E.

Friday. Lamb of God review and my Cauldron

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!

My hubby and I are hanging around making incense and I'm into the sake again, Matt is of course destroying a bottle of whisky, and we are listening to Project Rotten.

This brand of Harsh EBM/Electro goth isn't exactly Matt's favourite music, he hates "Goth Ravers". 

I of course listen to just about anything so this is my Friday night album.
The first track Soul Stripped rules my life right now.

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/projectrotten1

You know a band is gothy when you can't tell who's a chick and who's a dude.

Now we are listening to the new Lamb of God album Resolution.
I am kinda MEH on it so far.
Matt says MEH too.

It sounds radio ready and it lacks the technical prowess and syncopation of Wrath and Sacrament.
It has bored me thus far.
Of course it's heavy and angry and serves it's purpose, but then it lacks substance.
"Track number nine sounds like the heaviest Alice in Chains song ever written."
Matt told me to put this in my blog and smoke it.

More wag beards than you could wag a stick at! But would you dare wag a stick at group of gentleman such as these, where D. Randall (4th from left) was staring you down all dangerous like he is in this picture? Now that is a badass not to fuck with, I am sorry.
Lamb of God rules but this album doesn't make me feel smashy good time like many before this one. Disappointed? Yes.
Surprised? No.

In other news, I found some 100% pure shea butter! Believe it or not this is hard to find here. My skin is celebrating right now, I feel like I rubbed soft cheese all over myself and the effect is just glorious my friends. Thank Zombie Gary Busey for late night Wal-Mart trips with Mrs. KT Karpetz.

I am trying to get a still picture of my cats who are "nipped" (high on catnip) and wearing their cute new collars!

Pictures will be up soon no worries.

Here is my new vintage cauldron from www.whitemagickalchemy.com
Me and my Bestie face KT have matching.

PURDY RIGHHHHT???

-E.