Crazy hacker slag off, facebook fag and other stories

Oh wow that is bizarre. It appears I have some kind of hacker that knows my not so secret password logging in and out at another location.

Yeah my computer tells me that, weirdo, whoever you are, what do you think you are going to discover behind the scenes what I'm saying on here? This is a public blog, all of my entries have been published and if not you might have a few bunk ass drafts to read, why would you care to read what everyone can already read for themselves or while I'm writing it can you just be patient enough to fuck off so I don't have to keep logging in and losing words out of my entry? 

Who would do that? Why?

YOU KNOW that's a good question.

Why would someone do... why? 

Why not is the answer.

Hence this burn blog. (And some other stuff too, not all burn and churn.)

So people seem to enjoy reading my "burn blogs" where someone gets a deserving toasting of their asses on here with absolutely no shame whatsoever, leaving you wondering,

IS SHE MAD?

HAS SHE JUST LOST IT OR IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY?

WHHHOOOAAAAA. SNAP. WTF MAN

Or you just laugh cause you know me and know I'm just saying online what most people would say in private, because I'm ok with putting my own spin on the stories of my life out for anyone to read, writing shouldn't be hidden, and since this has become somewhat of a trademark for me I'll let one or two more more burns rip.

So the other day my gay bestie husband for life told me my ex added him on Facebook. Of course I scold him a little for adding him, cause I am trying to hide from him on there.

Now I'm not going to say the full name he was going by that REALLY confused me but the last name was TINSEL like... THE SPARKLY SHIT YOU PUT ON A CHRISTMAS TREE, THE GAYEST SHINIEST SHIT ON EARTH... I thought it was a strange moniker and when scanning quickly to see if it was him I see he's been updating statuses every 10 fucking minutes and most of it is whiney or overly braggy or gay gay gay in a bad wayyyyy OK?!

I'll tell you why it struck a particular cord with me about seeing him on Facebook in the first place.

While we were together he hated seeing me on Facebook. No matter what I was doing he was all snoopy about it. He said it was for stupid people. He HATED IT. The snooping didn't bother me that much since I never had anything to hide on there.

He started to snoop more regularly and start thinking that I was sleeping with a chunk of the list or something, most of em gay even, so I delete Facebook, for him, to shut him up, and now here he is using Facebook like a slave. Wow... *fans myself*

Anyways so some text he sent me that involved seeing me or fixing my car or both , yeah, both, with a strange glimmer of hope sprinkled in there, after we have literally been estranged for quite some time, I was confused and decided to snuff out any further efforts for him to get near me by telling him these four incredibly effective words...

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

All of a sudden it's like I could even hear a trains brakes go full board.

I of course got a text back, WHY DID YOU TELL ME THAT?

Lets just say I got text tears, and I am not that evil that I am sitting back laughing about it but I guess I have no idea how to be subtle about a big thing.

In a moment unlike me, I became weak and told him I was sorry I told him.. that way.

I've never been sorry for my honesty, and honestly, he wasn't, if ya know what I mean!

 Doesn't matter who I am dating eventually it'll get around to him anyways, you could say that I was being nice by letting him know instead of hearing it some other way- though my delivery wasn't the kindest- after seeing that outright hypocritical shit on the internet I was kind of raging.

 Years of being bullied about stupid Facebook, and now he's a fag for Facebook!

A Facebook fag.

*PC REPORT JUST IN: MY GAYS AREN'T OFFENDED BY THIS SO YOU SHOULDN'T BE EITHER, HUGS AND KISSES, HEX*

Well well well folks it appears that some people just cannot be fixed, because they have no idea who they are in the first place. Can you say... Multiple personality disorder?

Oh yes over the top that way it's done right.

That's a body bonfire right there. Toss em on. Let it burn.

Enough with the body bonfire. He's gotten burned enough on here, but again he did say it was a stupid blog so he'd be stupid by association if he read this therefore can't complain about any slander listed in any of these entries! BOOOOOM AGAIIIIIIIN!!!

Well I did say it wasn't finished until it was over the top!

OK SO!

Onwards... Today my pops had a biopsy done on his thyroid to figure out what's going on there, and is having surgery in about 2 weeks.. June 19th. 

They just go in there with a weird mechanical surgery scope and get the shit all dug out, close him up and fill a drip with morphine and gravol and slap ya in a room all fucked up on their sleepy time drugs for days before you even really know what's been going on... but I'll be around as often as possible and bringing him whatever the hospital won't... other than wine of course...

Anywho he took the biopsy like a champ, and we are almost to the next hurdle. That's how you have to think about big things like this- in little doses at a time.

Yeah I know he'll get through it and he is lucky... we just don't ever want any of this but life brings it sometimes and you gotta roll with the punches. Look for the silver lining, if life gives you lemons- make lemonade! All that cheesy shit.

My dad is looking good, young, rested, which he should be right now.

What else has been going on in my normally circus like lifestyle?

Well sure the same ol' day to day circus shit happens here at the BGM, and really it's not like it's always a party but we laugh a lot lot lot. Holy shit do we ever laugh, about everything, life is hilarious and shouldn't be taken too seriously all the time. It's a great place to live.

The other day we were watching a sassy black character named Foxxy Love on a show called Drawn Together, of course now John wants a black wife, like literally almost turning un-gay for black women because of Foxy Love and now a girl at the liquor store! This is all weird because a couple of years ago I dreamt I was witness to him marrying a black woman for some convenience thing... it was bizzare and  gay and messed up and I was wearing a suit... the setting was my Elementary/Jr. High school... very weird dream. 

I am pretty sure I was on Interferon which caused a lot of fucked up dreams, told him about it and reminded him the other day after he professed his fake gay love for the liquor store girl.

We had a laugh and that's how I know it ain't real love love.

It's just FOXXY LOVE.

THAT'S FOR REAL REAL NOT FOR PLAY PLAY!

That's my fun life, I really can't complain about it today.

-E.

You probably think this entry is about you

Cheesy vid, but it's necessary to my life!

This woman is the female Billy Joel, and one of my favourite singers ever ever ever.

Yeah sometimes I have nothing wise or witty to say, so you get to listen to my YouTube playlist!

http://youtu.be/mQZmCJUSC6g

I think her lyrics are genius, I love the tone of her voice her smooth transitions.. this woman never loses control of her voice, not once, live. She is truly amazing.

MEEEEEOOOWWS AND PURRRRRRS!

-E.

Asshole Complex

*Parent and family warning- if you aren't prepared to hear the crass and shocking shit yet to follow don't bother with this one, come back when I'm going on an intergalatic unicorn ride to the Bridge of Terabithia!*

I think a huge, long and destructive phase of my life may be over... 

A phase that cost me so much of my energy and soul and generosity, a phase that cost me years of not believing I was worth everything, just some.

Where I settled when I shouldn't have...

I'd like to think this phase started with one simple strange attraction to the attitude of the jerk.

I'd like to call this: 

"The asshole complex."

I'd like to think I am smarter than the average bimbo going for the loudest dude in the room, some obnoxious asshole everyone laughed with- or at- and somehow this drew me in like a fucking marooned ship to a lighthouse, why, I just can't figure out yet.

Still working through self discovery of why I married a son of a bitch alcoholic that had ridiculous standards for women, and a low tolerance to female sensitivity, with a large bag of sorrows on his shoulder at all times because he wasn't a millionaire, because it was almost a million dollars a year to keep him googly eyed drunk and stupid enough to deal with life and using that whisky sauce as the number one escape pod out of reality...

 With some false ideals that seemed to be constructed out of fucking redneck hot air,
"This here's bottle of whisky-m-sauce will cure what ails m'."

GLUG GLUG GLUG, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

BELLLLLLCCCHHHHH.

Long pause.

 I'M STUPID NOW, DON'T EXPECT MUCH FROM ME.

About a months of consumption, witnessed by me own eyes.

That wasn't a typo, ME OWN EYES MATE.

At some point this was my dream guy, he may have been ok for me when I met him but we were maturing at different paces, and not to brag but mine was greatly accelerated but one thing that changed near the end is I put my foot down and decided that I couldn't be treated that way, point blank end of discussion.

What else can I say? The choices I made are a part of my life, not to say I didn't love my ex at some point, just that when he exausted me with endless garbage and this guy had the memory of a shell shocked soldier out of WW2 from drinking whisky like water, with strange aggression towards nothing, air, me, embarrassing to be in public with by drawing attention to our table at restaurants, making old man jokes that people only laughed at, at him, not the joke, the waitresses would hate him. 

He had some strange aversion to anyone who liked me as a friend, as if he couldn't even understand why I could have friends or perhaps it was a jealousy, the fact that I am independent and have my own life, while he was fantasizing that I was a loser with no goals as he pounded whisky down his "whisky tunnel" aka throat.

Yup, that was a fucking burn if you need a lesson on how to write on here it is.

He did tell me that he always thought my blog was "stupid" again, usually said with a limp dick and a mouthful of whisky, staring at poker on his phone.

USE-LESS

Go to dick-tionary dot com first thing you'll see is a flaccid penis, Homer Simpson and that douche. The one who told me he didn't love me after I had cancer, "it changed me too much" because I started hobbies, more ambition, a more diverse life, that made him jealous.

So heres your stupid blog, if you bother to read it since it's soooo stupid.

Yeah, you've been hexed publicly, eat it dickweed.

SO ANYWAYS!

SA-LAAAAAMMMMMM

That felt good, anyways, eradication of this complex has been taking place for a couple of years, probably why as soon as I had the strength to jump off the boat after cancer I did, to save myself and any potential innocent children a lifetime of abuse.

Before cancer, somehow I had the self esteem most of the time to say no when it counted, to move on when needed, to be a strong independent woman *snap snap snap*.

Something happened almost the day I was diagnosed, I felt lucky to "have a man" to save me. Or so I thought. That continued on and I threw my own expectations to the wayside, since I was sick and he was "putting up with it" as far as it all felt.

This is the first time I have said this publicly, but it is as public as it gets-

I got married because I thought I was going to die.

That is a huge confession, even to myself, and to say it the first time to myself after knowing it my gut for a long time, a sense of peace washed over me, there was a purpose.

That purpose was gone once I was on my feet and not a patient anymore, not too weak to speak up about what mattered to me, what I felt like I was missing and what I didn't want, and I opened my mouth only to be negatively reinforced, avoided, shut out.

I said enough.

Now here I am today, a couple long term failed relationships under my belt and a history for going for jerks, quiet jerks, loud jerks, whiny jerks, boring jerks, mean jerks, jerks, jerks jerks!

I bypassed men along the way who were really nice to me and why?

I'd say some bizarre idea attached to the asshole complex that made me think that if they were nice they were boring, or I didn't want to be the focus and top priority, in essence, I didn't deserve real unconditional fair and equal love.

I didn't think I deserved the best, even if I could give the best.

They didn't have to, but to me I did.

Well, I am not going to get all in detail so I don't get texts like

"GURRLLLLL WHO YOU FUCKIN?"

BUT yes, someone is helping me change this view, someone who I felt I knew a long time, an instant friend. I'll leave it at that for now.

I am just slowly and safely letting myself be valued. 

By myself, and now I expect the same from any guy, I want a fair and non-traditional partnership. Who cares what the guys supposed to do and the girls supposed to do?

Why can't it be fair and simple, like a good relationship should be?

I decided that was that and here I go into a new world, and I feel good about it, I feel good about my future, I BELIIIIIIIIEVVE!

PREACH!

So please young ladies, tell that asshole to hit the road on the shoelace express, delete his number or if you are still locked in divorce style issues just change his name to Beavis, or Butthead, how about Beavis Butthead.

I've seen "dicksucker" and "asshat" as a moniker for an ex, whatever burns and scathes, you don't have to call them these names because you get the satisfaction of looking at your phone with a picture of Homer Simpson eating a rotten submarine with the name "fat slob" and a number then you can answer with a smile.

You have got to keep a constant reminder not to go back to misery, never to lower your expectations... or you'll end up with a dating profile like this one:

http://youtu.be/6xLsRI7-hBs

AHAHAHAHAHA One of my faves. I cannot get ENOUGH Eddie Murphy jokes, ever, but this next one is just beyond priceless.

http://youtu.be/t6vrLScy6uE

BUT WAIT! Best for last.

http://youtu.be/uHPI3A369xM

So what happens when your lower those expectations- well in short and not so sweet you ruin your goddamm life as you know it. 

Fuck all that noise and constantly strive to be better, to deserve better, and by being better starts with loving yourself enough to believe you deserve better, and do for your life, others likeminded folks will be drawn to you, and you face a chance at a real and fair partnership, if you can let it happen, and throw away that asshole complex.

I know so many women will be like, "I don't have that problem" and maybe they don't or they lie to themselves which is totally normal man, but many do, and I am telling you if you have this complex smash it into pieces, the "asshole" is not the fun guy, he's the guy that's going to fuck up your life if you invest in him, so don't do it, take my word for it.

I'll end on a song you should always remember, as a mantra even.

http://youtu.be/uHPI3A369xM

That would be all for today, intergalactic unicorn sparkles to all of you.

-E.

Sometimes it's a bitch, sometimes it's a breeze.

Stevie Nicks writes lyrics I am so attached to.

This is all I've got today... this is a song I listened to since I was a young 19 year old but it makes more sense now.

http://youtu.be/pUxsVPDPla4

-E.

My name is Hex, not Grace

HEX IN THA HOUSE!!!

Slighted intoximacated! I fuckin deserve it because I finished my studies of my first course and all the moodle quizzes with a 90% and booked my final today in a month

!

It's a celebration bitches!

This one has been on my phone a while and since I am apparantly posted wine memes it's going up.

YES IT'S IN FRENCH, YOU'LL HAVE TO GOOGLE IT! :)

This is from tonight, my dad gave a me a bottle of a nice wine I enjoyed after finally finishing up all the notes before review and enjoy the mark I have right now- then there's the final... GAHHH

SO BOTTOMS UP WEIRDOS AND QUEERS!

NOW TIME FOR A LITTLE ANIMOSITY!

SHIT MY NAME IS HEX NOT GRACE, THIS ISN'T A PLACE WHERE WE... I MEAN I CENSOR.

BOTTOM LINE.

Now if you don't feel like listening to my bit of anger than change the channel and read a "family blog."

I'm a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bit pissed off still about my lay off. 

I get this is business this is how it works, but I can be as mad as I want about it, it was my career, it was something I built for myself starting at the coffee shop counter and it gave me a sense of purpose. 

I found my niche in the business and felt great doing my job just about everyday. My father leaves for his illness and I was immediately given the chop, get your shit and go, there were outright lies circulating about me that hurt my feelings and left me feeling betrayed by people I wanted to further the business with, make this more than about great food and service, make it special, make it memorable. I believe I accomplished that in my time there and so I don't look back like I did the job inconsistently, EVEN when I was sick myself and was only there 3 days a week.

Everyone lets me get two words of frustration in before they say  

FUCK EM! Don't worry about it, don't let it stress you.

Oh I reassure you it is not entirely stress because of course some of it is, you unexpectedly lose your job after 4 years, THERE IS GOING TO BE STRESS but it is mostly anger and bitterness, which I am allowed to have as long as I want.

The psyche can only stir angrily for so long before it costs you health and energy and vitality, but whats wrong with having a slam fest after the fact regardless of what you can do about it, you can let your anger pile burn a little while.

Ain't no shame.

This is an anger that pushes me forward, pushes me to be BETTER.

WHY IN HELL would I let my sad and angry feelings go by the wayside just to be "positive"?

Well fuck no, positive is how I live my life most days, in between:

Cancer.

Dealt with that like a champ.

Marriage failure.

Didn't let it stop me.

My fathers health.

Staying strong as I can for him.

Laid off.

It won't stop me either and I will be better, but my primary focus is SCHOOL and I am not working on a degree for 10 fucking years. 

I may be 29 but I deserve a chance to be left alone about not working full time or in anything serious as a profession WHY? Because I a student now.

That's why.

Not even life will throw me off the track I'm really on, I will accomplish my dream and no one can stop me, nothing can stop me.

For a few weeks after something hard there is a seething, and either you let it burn inside to only fuck you over more OR you let it loose, not only with loose lips and fuck this guy and fuck that guy I hate this and that and the other thing, LIARS!

I channel my anger well, I have kept up an active lifestyle and if I start crying anger firery tears of hell bitch on wheels with an appetite for flesh in killing mode I go for a run, kick a soccer ball and pretend its so and so's balls.

Feels good.

I will ride out the wave and then I'll be fine.

Sometimes people don't understand it, and that is ok.

It is a good coping mechanism for me, exactly why I head to a metal show and crowd surf or a get a tattoo after something crazy and hard, I always do. 

I can wear the tattoos and hold the memories of my killing of the dead horse again as my badge of honour.

So what's this entry, 

POSITIVE?

NEGATIVE?

DRUNKEN?

A little of all the above my friends.

So yeah I would go kick boxing for more anger assault fantasies but my right leg isn't ready for that. It has improved a lot with physio and fitness but I am SOOOOOO not there yet, hence the soccer ball being assholes balls or bitches heads.

BOOOOOM! THAT'S THE SOUND OF MY SHOTTA!!!

Like I said, my name is Hex not Grace, and I'll be as crass as needed, hint about black magic to look crazy and make up very mean songs about the people who tossed me away.

They should feel lucky, I am using my sweet sweet vocal cords to dedicate Westboro baptist church style parodies that are obviously NOT "Baptist" in the least.

(If you wanna know why I hate that Church so much just google it.)

Getting anger out is fucking inmotherfukingportant godfuckingdammmmmmitttttt dirtyjesus onthe fucking crosssssss!

Whooo that was ruuuude!

http://youtu.be/OjAQ3dGKNck

Do whatever you have to that won't put you or anyone else you know in a vehicle with a spinning light on the top of it, do it in your mind, draw disturbing pictures in a childlike way to get your psycho out, because I believe if you hold it in, in will rot away at your internally and it will kill you.

There is a place to stop and that comes naturally.

I think people should heed my warning so they don't end up in the news and everyone who knew them goes:

HE/SHE SEEMED SO NORMAL! 

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?

THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE THAT PERSON AT ALL!

Well that person kept it festering inside instead of firing off a few glass bottles against a wall or fantasizing about molotov cocktails.

There you go. Logic and reasoning from a half cut poor excuse for a writer!

TAKE CARE AND LOVE TO ALL YOU SHINY SHINY DARLINGS.

I leave you with an inspiring song that I like to parody, if you bring me a bottle of wine I might sing it for ya, however I want to spin it that day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBEXSiFzOfU&feature=share&list=FLpMIfRIs2-_F11Yi4adYbqw

-E.

This entry is starring Evie

SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP.

I waited to write until our little sunshine came out of the baby baker, aka womb of my sister in law, and here is my NIECE!!! YAAYYAYA!

Baby photobomb time!

Welcome to the world Evie! 

PROUD GRANDPARENTS!

XCU of darling Evie

Looking precious and just witttttttllle

Love this picture, this pose she would search for boob.

Poppa and Evie.

Now I'm sure I'll be able to get pics of the proud parents Daley and Alicia later when they aren't so tired. Plus next time I'll get to see her she will be bigger.. her eyes will open up like a baby kitten.

I don't know if I've ever loved someone so much, she just makes my life happy, I am proud to be her auntie!

So yes my parents and I hung around all weekend dropping in between naps and feedings and passing her around, which she dealt really well with, every once in a while you think you see a smile or a stink eye but it's gas and the brightness of the world. 

I can't wait to play with her and watch her grow.

I haven't forgotten the second new baby, my cousin Francesca and her husband Ryan's first, 

FINN!

He's soooo cute, and loves to be in a diaper and nothing else.

Look at those blue eyes! They match his fluffy diaper!

So life has changed a lot and I haven't been able to blog about it all, May 1st I got laid off from my job after 4 years, won't lie it felt like a bit of a slap in the face... but I am not gonna get all bitter about it, it is what it is and if that was the direction the corporation wanted to take there is little I can do but shake hands and get the fuck outta there. 

That's that! One paragraph because my severance sucked!

So here I am, what am I doing now?

School like crazy, prepping for a final, grooming dogs with my bestie than the restie John, and just trying to be cooooool.

Here's a quick photo montage of things that have been going on...

Enjoying our yard

Getting dirty at my bestie than the restie's shop grooming doggies a couple days a week!

This guy was a talker

Having rock n' roll evenings where we sing what we can and some of what we can't

More yard enjoyment

Ended up on a mural somehow with a couple queers I know...

Took this picture drunkenly deciding to attempt quit number 3000, hopefully it will keep me reminded that smoking is gross..

At the same time I am posing for pics trying to glamorize smoking..

Geez.

Well, that was a nutshell alright, in my fathers health news, he is awaiting his surgery still, gotta get him a bed... that will be June 16th I believe.. I could be wrong I'll have to double check.. but in a couple weeks he has to have a biopsy of the thyroid as well...

At this point it's the super annoying waiting room time as I think of it...

When you are waiting for a huge surgery its like, grab a ticket, some snacks and a good book or 10, some valium, a picnic basket, and several hobbies because you are going to be waiting.

It pisses me off but I also know this is just how the system works.

He is looking good and staying active, which will make a big difference.

I am of course going to fighting in my dads corner all the way through.

I am in that end stage of my recovery where I am actually active again, feel stronger and less exhausted, not so delicate and beaten up, and trying to shed a few of the gazillion pounds I gained since interferon ended, where anything or anyone could walk past me but I was focused on finding a Wendy's or a donair. I went well overboard on my eating, and decided for my health and of course my risk of diabetes has changed me around these last 7 weeks, and I feel a thousand times better sweating my ass off, reminding myself that sweat is fat crying, and punishing myself sometimes, but other days are easier, staying away from garbage take out and cooking most of the week, doing shit like burpees and yoga and pretending I'm running from angry zombies, that helps. Getting ready to rock out some skanky summer duds.

BOOM!

Well, dats dat for tonight, I am on a more normal schedule after a couple of nights in a beautiful hotel bed after literally having about 3 completely sleepness nights, not in a row but close, that was fucked up and made me vampiric, but I did a quick switch around after one particularly sleepless night and tiresome day, and I am back to the land of the living. Gotta get up early and be a productive human, maybe do some yoga... who the fuck am I?

Love ya shiny babies and pals. XOX

-E.

Fuck cancer

Ok, here it comes...

Like word vomit...

FUCK!!!

Ok so I know I've been evasive with this blog therefore evasive with myself even because it's not the full truth until I can read it, and it is on the internet forever.

I couldn't blog this until enough people knew, family first and foremost and friends and co-workers and neighbours, it would have been wrong for me to even get on this blog before it was ok for me to say whats on my mind since that is what I do here at Hex in the city, and how do I sugar coat, positive spin, negative spin or twist this matter into anything else than it is... 

The C word and not the fun one, the mean, horrible, nasty "friend" we all have in our bodies... has hit my hero, my best friend, my mentor and tie to my own deep inner self...

My daddy has cancer.

I said, there isn't going to be sugar coating and frosting on this one.

He already knows that I am now going to be dedicated to documenting and advocating for him in his fight with this cunt YEAH I SAID IT named cancer that happens out of the blue and selects randomly.

Every single key I am hitting right now is so hard, I hope I don't break my computer.

ANYWAYS

It has to be this way, I don't write from any technical training, mostly my own ability to spell and narrate, express what is my inner dialogue, which has been clogged in a way because somehow this stupid blog as my ex called it, helps me to cope with all the shit, because I just can't hide the beating heart I wear on my sleeve.

Basically there was an incident, a few weeks back, involving my fathers blood pressure, which I believe was another word vomit entry, and he had a couple x-rays that showed a shadow under his heart in his ribcage.

I immediately used my extremely healthy brand of veteran cancer patient skepticism, saying "it's nothing, shadows happen in x-rays all the time."

I'm certain I've seen shadows in my x-rays... at least, each x-ray looks different than the last...

So that was it I made up my mind that until my mother breaks the news to me, I take a look at the pathology report, forever trying to gain knowledge and gather as some kind of shield against this disease... solitary pulmonary nodule... doctor speak, doctor talk, doctor blah blah blah, well, I always want to know what those blah blah blah's mean, and I find out.

There is nothing more than for us to wait for this surgery which should be within a couple of weeks and hope for the best, cope with the shit, but I will not put any blinders on when it  comes to this, I will be constantly looking and reviewing options for treatment, no matter what, I took my fight into my own hands and had too much in there, I was very good at putting a layer of sugar on it for others but I was at least very real with myself.

I think that I got my fighters spirit from my dad.

He's got it in him to fuck up cancer, just like me, I would like to think.

Leave behind, like me.

Though I wasn't alone in my fight, sometimes I felt totally alone.

No one around me had been through it themselves.

Nobody understands fully who hasn't been through it, it doesn't mean they can't care but it is impossible to completely understand unless you've been there yourself...

That said, I am going to keep this blog updated with my dads journey through surgery and recovery, and beyond. Whatever it brings, it brings. It's about facing it head on and making the most out of the time with your loved ones, which is an everyday rule, but it applies a little more when those you love are facing shit like this.

I won't go all Debbie Downer on you all though, don't worry.

My dad wouldn't want that, and I am not doom and gloom, I am aggressively positive, positively aggressive, but real, without any blinders on whatsoever.

So here we go...

DING DING!

It's fighting time. 

Daddy, you will not face this alone.

Fuck cancer.

-E.