Weekend Warrior

Before I recap my awesome weekend and you get to look at more photographs than listen to me ramble know this:

I AM A TOE STUBBER.

If there is something the universe places in my path that is just at the right stubbing angle, I will be HURTIN', FOR CERTAIN.

I probably stub my toes at least once a week, sometimes even multiple times a day.

I like to think it might be something the universe does to remind me that I actually CAN be stopped. 

I dunno, it just seems like I get a good stub in every few fucking days, and I have stubbed so hard that I've actually cried like a wittle baybeeee. Yes.

Just stubbed one GOOOOOD on a conspicuously placed box that and it was totally inevitable. Ugh, whatever. Just thought the world would like to know that.

HERE'S SOME PICS OF MY WEEKEND!

SATURDAY, JOHN'S BIRTHDAY, ME AS DESIGNATED DRIVER BY CHOICE, WEIRD I KNOW!

After sushi we had the 'Kitty litter cake" by Miss Kyra! OMGOSH I laughed my fucking ass off. It looked too gross to eat but IT WAS DELICIOUS!

TO THE GAY BAR!

Me and my chosen family, sickos and gays, and both combined.

Me, John, Amanda (my 'sister')  Elvis and Seth!

Can you believe I am sober here?!

More with my sis Amanda, with gay porn in the backround!

Da boyyyzzz getting their drank on

Jeremiah showed up with Leo from TRASYLVANIA, in the Carpathian m'fckn mountains!!!

I always ask him so many questions about Dracula.

GETTIN' DOWN!

Right before I tried the splits for the first time since my surgery, and I can do them BETTER THAN EVER! WTF???!!! HOW????!!! Who cares, I can still do the splits at 29, I feel young again! Like 21 instead of 29, yeah doggy.

But of course the cameraman was too drunk and dancey to get a shot, so I can't prove it I guess, but IT'S TRUE I'LL SHOW YOU!!!

I am in reality a better dancer when sober, but I always think I am the best dancer when I am drunk.

Sweaty dance floor shot of me and one of my bros Seth

More Jammin'

Skanky myspace angle bathroom selfie, all important shot

THE BIRTHDAY BOY and my very best friend and soul mate JOHN!

Looking skinnier than a starving African child, aka, FABULOUS!

HORNS!!!!

Drunk revellers

Showing off my gigantic booty! HAHAHA

SUPERMODEL WERRRK

From left, Elvis aka The King, me, Jer!

Black light lovin'

WE GOT JOHN JUST FUKIN HAMMERED!

Hahaha great night, it is possible for me to go to a bar, have fun and...

 NOT BE DRUNK AS SHIT! 

From time to time.

SUNDAY

I went out to a place called Glenvis, aka the middle of fuck no where, to model for a couple great local photographers, Kefka from Kefkism Design (who did my wedding shots) and Jennifer Jorgensen of Picture us here Photography!

Kef will make me wait to see his shots but here's Jennifers!

Not sure where she took this shot! It was definitely in one of the abandoned houses we shot in!

This is what a psychopath looks like.

I really really love this shot. First time I got to wear this dress, and got it just right.

I've been an admirer of hers for a couple years and was honored that she wanted to shoot me! We had such fun too!

Today was mostly average, except when I went to Safeway after work.

I always look for the best possible and closest parking, cause I hate carrying a million groceries and I DON'T use carts, too annoying, and can slide into others cars and they cost a dollar or something. Forget it.

So here I see a ROCKSTAR spot, but the idiot in the huge ass hemi parked next to it crooked and into my spot a little but I said MEH, I can fit.

Well I purposely parked a little closer to the hemi that parked like a fool and had me a little chuckle about it. 

GO AHEAD, Smash your door on my car, it's old and made of steel, it's blue and will only fuck up your paint job!

HAHAHA
I go in my head as I walk into Safeway to get food for the week.

I come out and THIS RIGHT HERE is on my window:

It's no secret that I enjoy getting a rise out of people especially when they are total idiots.

Looks like I pissed him off, but it sure made my day extra special!

I'm totally keeping this note in my car for the next asshole parking Hemi I come across.
These guys are like AL-BUR-DA!!! ME HAVE TRUCK! ME PARK LIKE FOOL! ME NO CARE!

Here's what I am doing right now:

Being albino, wearing my woollen Hobbit hat that has a bit of an amish chic feel that I love, it goes with all the other wool I'm wearing, my skirt socks and leggings. With a fluffy little curled up kitty in my lap. Decent Monday I say.

-E.

Auntie Erin

So I just realized I hadn't made the official announcement on here yet....

I'm going to be AUNTIE ERIN!!!

My brother Daley, my most loyal blog follower is "pregnant", well actually he got his wife all knocked up!

Wooohoooo!

Some cool things is about others having babies is:

1. I don't have to get fat 

2. I don't have to take care of it

3. I can play with baby, have my fun, give it back

4. Sometimes people will give me their baby for a day, and I get to pretend it's mine

-E.

Waiting for the miracle

So I am wrapped in life and writing has taken a back seat.

Music for me is the easiest way to feel good, because it's easier than writing sometimes, because sometimes it's difficult to articulate what's really happening.

I know I usually hang my laundry out to dry on here but right now it's not an option.

These are lyrics that I needed to hear tonight, thank you Mr. Cohen.

Baby, I've been waiting, 
I've been waiting night and day. 
I didn't see the time, 
I waited half my life away. 
There were lots of invitations 
and I know you sent me some, 
but I was waiting 
for the miracle, for the miracle to come. 
I know you really loved me. 
but, you see, my hands were tied. 
I know it must have hurt you, 
it must have hurt your pride 
to have to stand beneath my window 
with your bugle and your drum, 
and me I'm up there waiting 
for the miracle, for the miracle to come. 

Ah I don't believe you'd like it, 
You wouldn't like it here. 
There ain't no entertainment 
and the judgements are severe. 
The Maestro says it's Mozart 
but it sounds like bubble gum 
when you're waiting 
for the miracle, for the miracle to come. 

Waiting for the miracle 
There's nothing left to do. 
I haven't been this happy 
since the end of World War II. 

Nothing left to do 
when you know that you've been taken. 
Nothing left to do 
when you're begging for a crumb 
Nothing left to do 
when you've got to go on waiting 
waiting for the miracle to come. 

I'm not going to put the whole song on here but some words that mean a lot to me, if you don't know this song or Leonard Cohen I strongly suggest you acquaint yourself with this amazing and Canadian poet/musician.

SO WATCH THIS YOUTUBE VID OF THIS BEAUTIFUL SONG!!!

http://youtu.be/Y-E53gmeO-8

-E.

Pompelo Toddy

Life has been hectic with hardly any time to sit down.

Some ups for a while then a down, a big down.

Just a problem with chemicals in my brain, it is innate to me.

While I'd love to write a full on entry I just don't have the energy right now.

So instead I'll show you a drink I had, that you should to.

Sanpellegrino Pompelo (Grapefruit) and rum.

Only way I'll drink rum, and I have a some throat, thats my excuse for drinking on a Monday.

Helps my throat SOOOO much. You could call it a Pompelo Toddy.

I promise a more entertaining/ wordy blog this week sometime. 

Thanks friends, love you all.

-E.

CHECK OUT MY BUTT!

Hello my shiny pretties!

I haven't been able to blab your ear off about whatever is irking or downright pissing me off lately, or sharing my recent events and whatnot because I have been acutually very very busy 6 days a week.

All I have time for is photos, but later this week if I get an evening to myself I will tell you all about my adventures. 

Until them check out some dumb pictures!

My butt in my new Pj pants, I think it looks pretty juicy and wonderful I had to post it.

I don't usually post body parts but my butt with pink zebra must be shown, sorry mom, dad, brother.

A new darker richer red, plum black it's called, done freshly last night by moi, including the extensions, whoop!

Gotta do that camera whoring.

K last one.

BOOM! For new haircolor. yeeewp!

The camera makes it look lighter than it is.

And that all.

I'll have more interesting things to say in the next couple of days.

-E.

Cowboy Up!

I am so fucking proud of my longtime buddy Oakland and his wicked Psychobilly/ Rock n' Roll band RAYGUN COWBOYS!!!!

The album has been released and though I've been promised an autographed album I still bought their album on iTunes and you should too!!!

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/cowboy-up!/id559506779

Oakland does lead vocals on "Broken down in Montreal" and I am like a proud mama.

Fuck ya these Edmonton guys are gonna rock the world, all great musicians with balls.

I will stay a loyal fan till the end baby!

-E.

Weekend alcohol abuse, Amish scandal, stuff like that

Ok so I've attempted to blog for a couple of days but I am not allowed to post the video of my crazy cats going crazy over a plastic string and a box.

Yes that's all I really had to say for the last couple of days, I am functioning on a moderately slow cruise control, or an auto pilot for a couple of days, blame it on the fun I had on Saturday:

Reoccurring themes are:

Drag, Chihuahua's, Skeletons, Jäger. That is all.

So I had so much fun this weekend, but it is totally almost Wednesday.

One of those weeks that started off kinda wrong- well, not quite right, therefore I have been playing in defensive mode in a way and spending most of my free time eating and watching The Sopranos marathons with Matt and "vegging" (more like burger-ing) with my cats not expecting much out of day to day, it can be easier when you do not expect too much out of life.

 Not that it's been a horrible week so far- well, couple of days actually- it's been just fine for the most part, no health problems, no deaths, no car accidents, a lot of emotional eating, but decent so far.

I do have ONE good thing to say about my week, I got a raise at work in exchange for my new responsibilities, and that did brighten up things and give me some kind of jolt-

HAHAH that word, JOLT, of Jolt Cola, I remember it was like liquid crack for the teens of the 90's-

Anywho it did help move things along this week, give me a reason to get to next week, to work everyday.

Tonight has been a mix of The Sopranos and "The Learning Channel", which is always educating me on being Amish in New York, Secret lying Princes and Honey fucking Boo boo, even being a perfect christian baby machine like this Michelle Duggar of 19 kids and counting.

Now you're going to say, 

That's crap, I don't watch those shows.

I don't know who "The Duggars" are.

Yes you do, and you know it.

If you didn't before you do now, you googled it.

Hm, that's what I thought.

Yeah you kinda like it, you may even partake in a marathon or two.

Yeah you aren't calling your friends back anymore, because you are

LEARNING! 

You'd betta Redneckednize!

Oh so bad.

I'm done polluting my mind for a night and thought I'd update and then smash down on my soft soft pillow.

In closing I will say that if you haven't seen this one show, Breaking Amish, watch it.

It may not be a huge learning experience like TLC wants you to believe it is, but it sure is fucking fascinating, watch watch watch!

The guys are outright uneducated yokels and the girls are slutty/prudish/confused, plus there is a bunch of internet scandal happening around two of the cast members, who claim not to have known each other before the show but they actually have a baby together?!?

AMISH SCANDAL!

Worth the hour an episode I'd say.

http://starcasm.net/archives/176192

-E.