Punchy and Ragey

Punchy AND Ragey.

Ok, so since this is my blog and I get to say what I want, here goes a rant about today, and someone with NO TACT, or manners, or just basic human respect.

Now I know it's kinda cheap of me just to bitch about someone without fully calling them out, but if this person reads this:

#1

I don't give a shit.

#2

It's not like I didn't already say this to this persons face.

#3

Cheap or not this be maaa blog and again I have freedom of speech.

If you don't like it start your own blog called I hate the girl from Hex in the city.

#4.

No apologies, scathe always.

So this particular person asked me to join their soccer team, as goalie.

I told this person when we would talk about soccer all I ever played was goal.

This person also knows I can't run anymore because of my leg and hip, therefore I can't play out. I had chunks of my muscle taken out, I had cancer.

Well, I joined this beer league "for fun" as it's supposed to be.

I reminded this person it's been a few years since I've really played, and that I could be rusty the first couple of games, and then when I met the team captain I told him the same and he said:

That's fine! Just try, and have fun!

Ok so that's supposed to be what a beer league is for.

We are just having fun playing the game, and if you take the rankings really seriously you obviously don't have much else going for you in your life.

Well today this person that recruited me asked me if I was going to play tonight and I said:

YEAH MAN I'M TOTALLY STOKED

He (yes, he) goes:

WELL I DON'T THINK YOU'LL BE PLAYING IN NET.

I was like:

WHY? YOU THINK I SUCK?

He goes:

YEAH.

I was stunned that someone could be so blunt and rude about it.

If I save 80 goals and let in 6, I suck.

So if the forwards don't score any goals they don't suck, it's all on the goalie for losing?

FUCK NO!

It's a goddamn team sport!

Part of being a good team is offering constructive criticism, but an all out "you suck" and you aren't going to be playing the position you signed up for is a big slap in the face and leaves me no choice but to say:

FUCK YOUR TEAM.

I am super disappointed I won't be playing soccer, well, at least for now, especially because it's one of those things I couldn't do for so long and now I can and I get pushed out.

I payed my fees and had to re buy A LOT of soccer shit to join this team I was asked to play on, why the hell would I get out on the field when I have only ever played goal and only ever offered to play goal?

Oh yea, and YOU KNOW I CAN'T RUN.

Perfect way to push me out of the team, like a dick head bully.

Well screw that.

I wrote a letter to the team captain about this and expressed my extreme disappointment with this, let him know I am not feeling the love, so can I have my fees back please?

GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO PUNCH EVERYTHING

It's like sometimes these days I am pushing forward to move past being sick and disabled and hurting and sick and cancer and marriage falling apart and whatever else, I keep a positive attitude only to be shit on and have to take five steps back.

I sometimes just want to stay in my room because at least nothing in there can disappoint or upset me, unless I don't get some theory in my psych courses then I will be just fine in here with a couple cases of wine and peanut butter and my cats and that's fucking it.

So this uncouth lad that made me feel like the whole team thinks I'm the worst goalie ever or something which I am not, I fucking rule, I can play a lot of great games but I have my bad games too, I am not perfect, like the rest of the team, no one is perfect.

Being a goalie is the hardest job with the least amount of thanks.

You don't tell someone on your team that they suck.

That's just wrong and mean, and it's not like we are in Jr. High here.

Oh, and this isn't the Euro cup this is a FUCKING BEER LEAGUE.

OK so I will admit to being sensitive to criticism, and it is because I am a perfectionist when I love doing something.

I have always been a "little" sensitive to criticism- ask my ex's and my family and maybe they will laugh at the "little" part, but most people who know me know I am my own harshest critic.

I am harder on myself than anyone else is, so I am my own worst critic, but in sport teammates are there to support each other, you don't turn against one person on the team or the whole thing falls apart. 

So I am totally that kid in the class that ran to teacher for help with a bully, but when you are an adult you look like an idiot for being the bully and it takes more guts to face up to a bully than to bully someone.

Ahh, feels like I just took a big ol' number 2.

Thanks for listening.

-E.