Seasons don't fear the reaper

This is an aimless blabbing kind of blog!

I'm listening to my roommates read internet dating personals and laughing until I have to pee. 

There are Santa Clauses that are closeted and hitting creapily on them on plenty of fish, with stuff like,

MMM, I WANT TO ARM WRESTLE YOU

Fucking disgusting! Creeeeeeeepyyyy!!!!

Is this what it is to date on the internet?

Never has been for me, but for others, whatever floats their boat I suppose.

On a less creepy note, but one that may anger some Edmontonians:

I FUCKING LOVE WINTER!

I get to wear boots and sweaters, wool hats, scarves and stockings.

Wool everything.

Except my underwear.

I HAVE worn wollen underwear before though, real wool underwear.

My mom swears she never made me wear it but how the hell could I forget that feeling of bulky wool in my crotch? How?

To much info?

Too bad! This is my blog!

I didn't start this blog to talk about others, this shit is alllll about me babe.

So yeah, don't go as far as wearing wool underwear, or making your children wear it, cause let me tell you, if you have an "accident" in those woolies it feels like goddamm hell.

I'm getting off track. I do love winter. My car gets warm fast, I get to wear boots and be all cozy, it's now my favourite season.

Plus I whined so much this summer about being hot, I really really really hate being hot.

For this reason I don't see myself taking tropical vacations, I have no interest in a beach in Mexico or The Dominican or any other country where you sweat all the time. 

Forget it.

Plus I have grown to be comfortable with the dryness out here, I like NOT being clammy and sticky, and having to take 2 or more showers a day!

Of course winter has its drawbacks, your car gets stuck in the unplowed shitty streets of Edmonton, the bus never comes, the roads are slippery and it can be as goddam cold as a witches snatch.

Thing is every season has annoying things!

Summer heat can make you crazy, it can burn your skin and increase your chances of melanoma, its so dry your nose bleeds or it's so hot you have to lie naked in a cold shower for two hours and you have no energy from being so goddam hot.

Autumn is beautiful and I love it too, but the frost comes to kill your tomatoes, and if you don't rake up those leaves you'll have a mouldy ass mess to clean up come summer.

Plus people never throw their pumpkins out till spring.

SPRING SUCKS because the allergies, oh fuck the allergies.

If I could sleep in a Benedryl induced coma from March-June I would, the allergies overwhelm me. They make me irritable, rude, annoyed and bitchy, I sound sick and everyone goes

OOOOHHH YOU'VE GOT A NASTY COLD!!!

Then I say

NAW JUST ALLERGIES.

It gives me a cough and yeah I smoke, but the allergies cause it more and differently too.

Then I get really mad when someone goes

YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN ON THE SMOKING

Different things come to mind when I'm told this, like:

YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN ON THE DQ

YOU SHOULD SLOW YOUR FUCKING ROLL

SHUTUP AND MIND YA BUSINESS

Getting off track here, I love winter.

I really hate when Albertans bash the Province and the weather, if you don't like it get the fuck out is what I think.

Go live in the Florida fucking keys.

Do you know that more than half of this country is uninhabitable?

This is CANADA! 

Shut up whiners.

Deal with it or move to the equator and sweat all day.

That's all I have to say for now, gotta put on my wool underwear and drink more wine.

-E.