Hex in the city: A little Yuletide hexing

I will begin by announcing that I finally watched

The Human Centipede.

Now anyone that knows me knows I live for blood and gore, disturbing movies make me smile, The Exorcist turns my frown upside down on a shitty day.

But this movie, GODAMMIT this FUCKING VILE, disgusting, spawn of a sick SICK mind should have never been made, and I can never "un-watch" that stomach turning abomination.

I have never had such a hugely physical reaction to a movie, where I actually felt sick and recoiled in horror and disgust.

Hahahaha, now I've seen it all for sure.

No amount of liquor can make it go away.

Of course it is the Yuletide season and it was done up well, no bottle of wine unopened and a whole bottle of really good tequila down between my father and I.

As usual everyone was too distracted to take out a camera during all the action, but we did get a few end of the night very drunk off our asses shots!

This year I dressed as a Christmas present!

Jeff being a Christmas present!

My mother being a Christmas present!

My dad giving the metal horns for Christmas present glasses!

This is me Xmas day after I opened my PJ's from my mom and dad.

A soft polka dot robe with a prize fighter hood, and a cutesie leopard print flannel night shirt. I love Pj's now, but before cancer treatment where I was always cold I was a naked sleeper, I figured the nakeder I am the less fabric there is to get wedged in places, plus for some reason I thought it felt so damn delicious to sleep unclothed.

I have been converted to a housecoat and slipper girl, and PJ'S!!!!!

Spectacular Yuletide season, but over so fast.

Oh wait there is still NYE to get all fucked up and eat everything with a good excuse.

Christmas night after the tiring turkey dinner I returned home to THE BIG GAY MANSION (sometimes also known as "the rape house", don't ask me why) and we made the Yuletide extra Gay.

All my presents ruled, but two are precious and you cannot buy:

-A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH

-A NEICE OR NEPHEW ON THE WAY, we find out the sex of baby on Saturday!

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS:

Pshhh lets all STFU and admit, we aren't stickin' to no resolutions.

Only the really easy ones, like, NOT making a resolution.

Buuuuuut, I did promise my parents I'd quit smoking before I turn 30 which is in 8 months, so I'd better smoke em while I got em cause I can't let mommy and daddy down, plus it's been my New Years resolution so many times now that I've had some training, well at least I know what to expect.

I'm going to smoke like a goddamm sailor for about 6 months, that way I'll be quit for my 30th birthday.

I know it's gonna hurt, it always does, quitting smoking feels like losing your right (or your left ) arm, it fucking sucks and you just long for your friend and confidant, the Laramie.

You feel bored and that Laramie used to fill that time.

You feel like you're missing something when you have a coffee or a glass of wine, shit, any booze, you need it after strenuous amounts of anything especially eating, and it hurts, it hurts it hurts, but I gotta say I've had enough cancer for one lifetime and would prefer not to be the next Barb Tarbox.

(Seriously, Tarbox? How fucking unfortunate is that shit.)

Don't shake your head. I never claim to be PC on this blog.

BOOYAH!

Plus, I remember when I quit smoking successfully I was richer and felt better, all around.

It's nice to NOT hack up a lung in the shower!

So that's coming down the line, but like I said, until then I am gonna be Joe Camel and fuck you if you get in my way.

I've quit smoking many a time and every time it sucks regardless of how much you smoked before.

Sorry that may have been a little harsh...

OH DEAL WITH IT.

Heart, smiley face, x-o.

Oh, and I do have another resolution, I am going to start working out and playing sports again.

Starting as goalie on an Indoor co-ed team in January, and I am so stoked to get back out there, balls smashing in my face, feet to the stomach, head to the goal post, bring it the fuck on.

I am currently eating butter bread and sour cream and can't imagine this will help me get a little more into shape anytime soon, especially living with three flabotagers who will bake all day just to make everyone in the house fatter...... any who, I want to be left alone with my sour cream and butter bread and watch me some Honey boo boo to hopefully dumb out some of that horrid movie I was subjected to earlier.