Friday Stew

It's Friday!

I am of course alone, just me and the cats, oh and Oyster Bay pinot noir.

Worked today but was extremely exhausted all day. Shity sleep being hot and drank too much water, got to wake up multiple times to piss, oh I wasn't delighted either when my alarm didn't go off, then I look it was on but I must have turned it off in my sleep.

I should start putting my phone OUTSIDE my bedroom, that would make me wake up and get my butt out of the bed so I couldn't do that.

NO memory of an alarm.

Well that meant rushy rushy to work and looked kinda shitty with a plan to do my makeup in secret at the restaurant. I can do a basic "face" in 6  minutes, easy. On a good day, 4 minutes.

By three I was on my second double shot and not feeling any more awake.

I knew once I got home I had to have one of my dreaded Friday night naps, which have been known to wipe out any social plans and wake up hungry with the immediate thoughts:

PIZZA

WATER

MORE SLEEP

Now it's 130 am and I am wide awake, ready to run a marathon, so I just cleaned my disastrous kitchen.

This morning in my rush I couldn't find my jean jacket, thought it was weird cause I had just worn it yesterday. Now it is lost in my home somewhere, there is no way it is anywhere else, I just put it somewhere weird I know it, but I am so annoyed cause I love it, it's brand new, and where the fuck is it?????

UGHHH I CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT ME IT UPSETS ME SO!!!

So I have been talking with my husband a lot about our future, since he is taking the steps to make the most money out his profession so we can get into a home.

The idea of having a farm is becoming more and more of a dream for us.

A farmhouse, a barn, we will start with a couple chickens, a goat, and two pigs. 

Later I'd like to add a couple horses, some cows, maybe even some buffalo.

Definitely need ducks and a peacock too.

Most people, including my parents think it's crazy that a city girl like me would want to move out to the country and start farming. Even to me that sounds nuts! It isn't something I am quite ready to do, I am Hex in the City for a good reason. 

Who knows? Maybe one day I'll have to change my blog name to:

HEX IN THE STYX

That has a cool ring to it, I think I can dig it.

SO

Tomorrow is the re-opening of a friends cool clothes store Redemption Boutique, and I am going to have to hit it up for deals and a treat to myself. I need it after my Jean Jacket apparently disintegrated into thin air. I might cry if I don't.

RAYGUN COWBOYS are having a free show at the bar next door round four, so after I shop I can go get myself a long island ice tea and try my best not to get into too much trouble. Well, the Long Islands will decide that....

Because of my late and long nap I am of course soooo awake. I could sit here and blab to you guys all night, but I have to do a little waxing, so I 'll write until my wax is ready.

*TURNS WAX ON*

So of course I have to wax my eyebrows, and even though chemo really did a number on my eyebrows, there is still hair growing back in the wrong spots along my brow, how annoying.

I also have to wax a small part of my face that is basically a witches mole.

EWWW THATS SO GROSS WHY DID I TELL YOU THAT?

Well it's true, unfortunately. 

I don't wax anything else even though I could, but waxing yourself is a mini torture game.

I waxed my legs for my wedding day last year, and normally I find it not too bad, but I was still on cancer treatment and everything hurt more than usual at the time, and found I had to cheer myself on, ripping all the way to the tops of my thighs. That was really fucking ouchy!

I couldn't be bothered to wax anything other than my face, that's why they make Venus razors baby.

IN TWO WEEKS AND 1 DAY I WILL BE ON MY HONEYMOON!

Our long awaited trip with my HoneyBot to Niagra and region, then Toronto and Montreal, with a day of old Quebec in there somewhere.

It will be such a fun trip. Freedom to eat and drink whatever I want.

Shopping. 

Shopping.

Showing Matt Niagra Falls.

Spending a few days with family in a cottage on Erie, which is my favourite of the great lakes by the way because it's almost my name. It's my lake.

Montreal smoked meats

Metal bars and loud shows

Couple honeymoon tattoos that shall remain a surprise.

The best thing about taking my honeymoon late is that I am not on interferon.

I would get to have a lot less fun, and perhaps even be miserable.

That was not how I wanted to spend my Honeymoon, no no no.

So we decided to wait.

It's cool that we are taking our moon around the time we actually got married last year.

We will be back two days before our 1st wedding ani, and I already have a few things planned including dinner at Ruth's in a booth, I hinted to Matt it would be so romantic if there was blue or purple or mixed together roses, or Dahlias, that would be lovely! Oh man, I am horrible.

But this is how husbands learn what their wives want, you gotta tell them what kind of flowers you love, or you might not get the flowers you want, or not at all.

Ok now I am digging myself into a pit, my huzbee is going to read this and be upset.

Sorry Baby! Lovey you kissssssessssss

There.

So gotta go, my wax is warm, since I am doing strange things in the middle of the night I might as well groom a little in the process!

Love y'all!!!

STAY METAL.

-E.

Clean and Dirty foods. I'll eat both- but they exist.

SO a while back I heard a radio show on CBC called Wiretap where a guy was talking about "dirty" foods and "clean" foods, and really it didn't make any sense to me, considering he thought M&M's were the cleanest food and the peanut version was FILTHY. He also thought a burger would become cleaner the flatter it is, so he'd squish it down.

So I got to thinking, is it that I think this guy is a whack job, or do I agree with him that there is clean and dirty foods, and his don't make any sense to me but perhaps I have my own idea of which foods are clean, and which are dirty.

I have thought it over and I have my own instincts as to which foods are clean and which are dirty.

CLEAN

Avocados

 Red Grapes

Blackberries

Pineapples

(I think these fruits are the cleanest of the fruits, many fruits are dirty.)

Pizza

Satayed or broiled chicken

Perogies

Sour cream

Real Crab of any kind

 Salmon

Rare Steak

Homemade Mayonaise

Yams and potatoes

Fudge cakes, ice cream cakes, any chocolate cake

Fuzzy Peach Gummies

Pure chocolate ice cream

Crack chicken from Lingnan

Smokies stuffed with cheese

Leaks

Kiwi

Kale or swiss chard

Cheese

Milk or Dark Chocolate in bar form

Maple Syrup

Cool Whip

Rice- white, brown, basmati or jasmine.

MMMM.... FOOOOODDDD.

DIRTY

Mashed Potatoes

Mangos

Mushrooms

Cucumbers

Vanilla ice cream

Hot Dogs

Spinach

Any fast food- unless it is without mayo and ketchup, mustard is clean so have the mustard if you may, covered in tomatoes, lettuce, onions cheese and PICKLES, the pickles are especially important if you want a CLEAN BURGER!!! 

ABOUT BURGERS! DIRTY/CLEAN

CLEAN BURGERS:

Wendy's 1/4 single with no sauces and cheese

Single Teen Burger without sauce-again, with all the fixin's

Mushroom Burgers from Burger Baron

DIRTY BURGERS:

Big Macs

Anything with two or more patties

Frozen Burgers of any kind

BACK TO DIRTY FOODS

Bacon- yeah sorry everyone, I eat it too but it's fill-thaaay.

Iceberg Lettuce- unless it's on a burger with pickles and onions and cheese, then it becomes clean.

Pork Chops- dirty, dirty dirty, if cooked on a stove. They must be BBQ'D or cooked on a fire to become clean.

Brisket. Fucking filthy.

Lobster

White Fish

Angel food cake, or any fruit filled cakes.

Aristocratic Greens from Lingnan.

Miracle whip or any store bought mayo.

Whipped cream in a can

Oranges

Blueberries

Apples

Bananas

White Grapes

100% Beef hot dogs on a white bun with ketchup is the dirtiest thing you could ever eat.

EEEWW, the turtle loves the mashed. Though I make and eat mashed, plain old mashed with bakers potatoes and milk is 

dirty dirty dirty. I suppose these are yukon gold potatoes which makes them cleaner, and there has to be butter on these to attract a turtle. Thats what I think

So maybe my list doesn't make much sense, especially considering I am not quite as neurotic as the man who inspired this blog, but I can tell you that I eat both clean and dirty foods and enjoy most on the list EXCEPT the dirty burgers and 100% beef hot dogs. Brisket too.

WRONG KIND OF CAKE LADY, THAT SHITZ DURDY.

Maybe one or two of you will get my lists a little, or maybe not.

Either way, I will admit I care not whether you think I am full of shit or not, this is the reality, at least for me, a human existing and eating on this planet.

I believe that if you choose a food from each list and make sure they are totally opposites.

Kiwi is so clean and bacon is so dirty, but if you eat them together the bacon becomes clean!

See my crazy fuckin' logic???? Do you???

Think about your clean and dirty foods. 

You will know which are just by instinct.

I encourage you to actually think, what is inherently clean and dirty.

CLEANEST FOOD IN THE WORLD EVER:

Frozen Yogurt with raspberries and Oreo's blended in.

Cleanest food you'll ever eat I SWEAR!!!

-E.

PEOPLE SUCK

BUT REALLY????

-Co-workers that refuse to get along in a professional manner, my question is, DOES IT brighten your day to spread your misery in an unproductive way, affecting YOUR wallet, team morale, productivity, new developments but first and foremost the overall success of the business of course. Does it?

-MEN, women and youngsters who don't help a woman with a stroller, someone handicapped or very senior who is clearly having difficulties, or even holding the door for the person behind you?

-"Friends" or whatever they are who only come out in fair-weather. If you wanted to see me, wouldn't you get wet in rain, cold in the winter, and desire to be in my company regardless?

YEAH, as you can see by the way I started this blog, I am super angry.

Like burning inside.

There is something wrong with the world and many of the people in it.

I don't care if that sounds pessimistic, it's fucking true.

Everywhere I go people don't have basic manners.

Even my manners have gotten worse, and I'm fucking ashamed of myself.

I would blame this lack of basic manners on iPhones or anything phone and smart.

These create DRONES who withdraw quickly from social behaviour.

It made me angry when this little 14 year old emo kid walked through a door the other day completely unaware that a woman with a stroller was behind him. The door slammed into her stroller and she had to struggle through the door herself.

Now you are saying, ERIN! WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP IF YOU'RE SO CHIVALROUS!

I was driving by ok. It happened in like two point five seconds, but I kinda just wanted to find this little punk and shake the skullkandy headphones out of his ears and torn him a new one in those skinny jeans called 

"MANNERS"

Yup, pretty much not liking the general "world" at the moment.

People are so petty, easily influenced by others, money, and fuck knows what.

For this reason I have stayed home alone and abstained from any social activities for days now.

I have literally locked myself in my apartment and here I do what I want, I make a lot of jewellery, I stroke my kitties, I cook delicious food and change clothes- about 3 to 4 times a day.

New fact you didn't know about me. 

I intend to stay here for another day or two, besides work of course, and enjoy the time all alone.

Of course it's hard to sleep alone when you are used to that, but a little alone time doesn't hurt anyone.

It's great to have the whole fucking bed.

So that's as positive as I'll leave this bitchy blog, here's the deal, if you don't like it, don't go visit 

Hex in the City.

If you are reading this I probably love you, and I don't count you in with any horrible, non-door holding activity, or so I would hope not!

Anyways, this week, to me, I see the ugly things about our human race.

People- they kinda suck. 

People you work with, people in your apartment building, your neighbour, people without basic human manners, people who don't pay attention to those they love or people who take you for granted, psychic vampires sucking your lifeblood with promises and unfullfilment of these promises.

SO YEAH!

THIS ONE IS FOR PEOPLE WHO SUCK! 

So yeah, people in general kinda suck.

What's wrong with our world, childrearing and JUST EVERYTHING?????!!!!!!

BAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Not bah like a sheep, a long, old man like BAH with a hand thrown up in the air.)

Ummmm, yeah, that's it.

-E.

-

-

STUFF!

So today I got my first tattoo in a over a year and a half, couldn't get tattooed cause of all that cancer garbage and skin garbage and what not.

My buddy and incredible artist Casper Mugridge drew me up a Goat's head I fell in love with, and he then put it on my body.

My Goat.

The Goat represents many things, but a few things I feel the goat represents for me is:

INDEPENDANCE

CURIOSITY

RESILIENCE

INDIVIDUALITY

I had a lot of people telling me it was going to hurt- you know what I said-

It couldn't hurt more than cancer.

Plus, I wanted to feel the pain, man.

I just went through a whole year and a half of painful surgeries, needle pricks, more needle pricks, pain coursing through my bones up to the top of my head.

That was pain I didn't want. That was pain I didn't ask for.

With a tattoo, you can chose where you are gonna get the pain and I am very good at choosing "painful spots", but you get to choose it, you ask for it, you have the control.

Plus interferon needles don't leave nice images behind.

I feel great after my 2 hour sit today.

I had a natural buzz going after and thought I would go find myself a jean jacket, walked into Buffalo and there it was- the jacket I've been looking for!

$128... But 50% off!

SCORE! I yell and the whole store looks my way, I realized then not a single woman worked there and all the employees were gay, gay gay, so they smiled.

Then I went and got a few cool summer tops for picnics and hot days, most are full of holes, nice venting holes. I am developing a distaste for really hot weather, and all the sweating and stickiness that comes with it.

I had a sudden urge to go to 7 Eleven and get sour blue raspberry Tangy Zangy sticks, chewy chocolate chips ahoy, a pack of cigs and then to Wendy's for a 1/4 with cheese, overall a very unhealthy food day, but I get cravings and they must be satisfied!

MMMM JUNK

IN OTHER NEWS!

IT TOOK SLIMBO LONG ENOUGH, BUT HERE ARE SOME RANDOMS!

WARNING: THERE ARE DRUNK PEOPLE IN THESE PHOTOS

Mr. Spilly Drinks spilled whiskey down his coveralls- he needs a bib clearly.

Oh yeah, great look. I look drunk and outraged.

Stuffing my face with the May Long Melon

Wild Albertan American Gothic

Not sure what is going on here.

Me cooking, Elaine's Bum

Goofs and Slobs

Meat Grillin'

Me  on a drunken ramble

UH OH

MAY LONG MELON!!!

-E.

Shoutout to my awesome dad

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

Mothers and fathers day now mean a lot to me.

Not like I didn't think it was that important before, well, maybe just a secondary holiday of sorts.

But now I have to say, I want to use those days to make an extra gesture of love to my parents. 

Call me a cornball, I love my parents!

Now I don't want to go on too long and embarrass my pops, but seriously, he is both my mentor and idol in work and life in general.

I actually thrive off his energy and desire for perfect service at the restaurant, but also see him as one of the best role models I could ask for, and just love him to bits!!!!

I also have so much fun with my dad, and can tell him just about anything including the horrible things my alter ego Hobemma Valentine does, who's parents would listen to that???

So tonight, Matt and I went over to my parents for a dad's day dinner, I got to wear my favourite new dress from Aritzia and My embroidered cowboy boots, get my Grandma drunk and get myself loose enough to choose gross topics at dinner and then tell my parents about the last "physical" fight my brother and I had, when he grew to a man's size overnight, and after that doozy we chose to keep the peace and not tell on each other.

My mother was horrified when she heard that we actually grabbed knives and chased each other around the house with them, involved jugs of orange juice and then water, and I believe the entire debacle ended with me running out the front door down the block in fear of this "man" that used to be my little brother and punching bag.

Never again did I pick on my brother Daley.

I had never told her the full details of this craziness, but I had enough wine tonight to spill, spill spill.

Could you believe that my brother and I today have a wonderful relationship and never get up to any play-knifin' at all anymore.

DALEY IF YOU'RE READING THIS, LOVE YOU BRO!!!!

SO this was a Dad's Day shoutout, I'm getting a little off track here.

My father rules, and not just because he's my father.

I know so many people who only have great things to say about my father, and so many people know WHO my father is, and how well he does his job.

Best thing about me and my dads relationship is he and I share a common dislike for certain things.

Many things, people and stuff, but as to not embarrass him I will not share what these things are.... maybe I've already said too much.

Point here is I love my Dad and I wouldn't be the same person without him.

Here is one of the most special moments I've had with my daddy!

My dad walking me down the aisle on my wedding day.

My fave pic of me and my dad together, ever.

(ALL PHOTOS BY Kefkism Design, check him out on Facebook!)

I LOVE YOU DADDY!

Ok, this sap fest is over I gotta hit the hay, it's late-o'clock!

-E.

FRIDAY, LOOKIN' LIKE A PSYCHOPATH links like a MOFO

QUICK MESSAGE TO THE MASSES:

I HAVE JOINED TWITTER.

AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY OR WHAT THE POINT OF THIS SITE IS-

YET.

https://twitter.com/#!/ErisEmber

AND THIS MAKES ME SAD- THE GRANDMOTHER OF ONE OF MY MOTHERS DEAR FRIENDS- is no longer with us because of Cancer's deadly advance.

Now her Granddaughter is without a dad because of this horrible unnecessary incident.

http://www.calgaryherald.com/news/Wife+learned+husband+Eddie+Rejano+death+readied+school/6790468/story.html

ALSO, LISTENING TO THIS ALBUM IN FULL.

I'M A PROG GEEK.

THIS IS ONE SONG.

MOONSORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://youtu.be/2xEXTBW91us

Moonsorrow, I bow before you.

After that randomosity, at 2 am on a Friday, 
here's some advice, I give you after hours of consultation.

Muddled berries, Stolichnaya Vodka Raz, Soda. Period.

Thank you for a great night.


"There is no way for you to wear that mask without looking Psychopathic. "
-Matthew (Husband).

Two of the best Melodic Metal songs ever.


http://youtu.be/WCKGIu1J-ow

TWO PARTS.
I love you Alexi.

http://youtu.be/SPhbrjx6QIE

-E.