It's too darn hot

It's been days since I have blogged.

Mainly because it is just too hot, and when it's too hot, I sort of "go fishin'"

I leave the building.

I am finding this year to be especially hot and humid, which isn't our usual summer.

Normally when it's really hot here I get a nosebleed everyday, and thats how I know it must be humid here with this heat, and that amps the temperature, that humidity.

I've kept my mouth shut (for the most part) about my feelings about this over 30 degree weather, but since this is my blog, I feel this is a safe place to complain about how I feel about sweating in places of my body I didn't even know existed. 

I HATE THE HEAT!!!! I HATE IT I HATE IT I WANNA KILL IT AND ROLL AROUND IN ICE!

Yeah, I said it. Here's another one:

WINTER, COME HOME!!!

So my ideal summer would be 15-20 degrees, no hotter, no colder. 

AHEEMMMMM

MOTHER NATURE

CAN WE MAKE THIS HAPPEN PLEASE?

IT IS GLOBAL WARMING

We have these nicer, not so blizardy winters, and it keeps getting hotter and hotter here every fucking godamm summer pardon my french, I'm sweating between each finger and toe this is so grossssssss.

This year is especially uncomfortable for me.

I found the way I felt temperature wise changed a lot with chemo.

I was extra chilly all winter, now I am extra fucking hot, and I'd rather go back to sweaters and slippers I tell you what.

Maybe thats why this summer heat is affecting me so much, EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED.

Now don't get me wrong, summer is good for a few things, one is RAFTING!!!

The Pembina River that is. 

It is like, SOOOOO FUN!!!

I don't have pics of this but lemme tell you, it was a rocking day.

I went with some fierce metal ladies I know and of course my bestee fo lyfe John.

I could have stayed on that river ALLLLLL DAYYYYY.

The sun was hot, but the water was nice and cold, and I had some concealed liquer, Vodka lemonade I managed to keep on the float all the way to the beach, where we partied a while before trudging up the hill from hell back to our cars.

Now that fun couldn't happen without it being a hot summer day, so ok, I like that about summer.

I also like all the time we can spend outdoors.

Thats a given.

BUT SWELTERING HEAT????

NOO THANNNNK YEEEEWWW

Like I said in this heat, my shop closes down.

I move very slowly and am easily annoyed.

More than usual.

This apartment faces west, so it is like an oven by 5 or 6.

LIKE AN OVEN.

Even my fan feels warm, this isn't cool.

You won't catch me buying tickets to lay on a beach somewhere, I am obviously over the whole tanning thing, I wear SPF 100!!!

Hey, I obviously may be affected by my melanoma diagnoses, obvs I don't want another one, but sweet baby lucifer this toooooo haawwwwt.

Did I mention I was too hot?

I am having fantasies of  falling into a frozen lake, or jumping into a giant slushy machine, mm, preferably grape crush slush, being sprayed with a gigantic fireman's hose, or ten of them. 

Eating the Iceberg that sunk titanic, that's my ultimate fantasy.

Well here's the deal, I can't think about anything else so I will have to go find nice ways to cool down.

Here are a few.

Soak a cotton dress in water, put it on and sit in front of a fan.

Fill a bowl with cold water and put your feet in it.

Go find a children's spray park and push all the kids out of the way for the best spray machine.

I am getting into the shower, on a cold blast, I can hardly wait.

LOVE YOU ALL 

-E.