I'm so much cooler on the internet

Oh jeez I've been a tewibble tewibble blogger.

If you didn't know me you'd probably think I was a flighty bitch, who doesn't really have any real direction in life and the attention span of a small animal... and you would be almost correct.

What the fuck is this blog about anyways? It's got so many personalities if I ever end up in jail for some sort of atrocity they'll use this as a profiling tool.

Last year I barely blogged all summer too, because, well I had better things to do quite frankly. I'll admit that the majority of what you read on here is only written because I was fucking bored, probably stoned and needed to get up on my soapbox, I probably called all my friends and got no answer, left them creepy messages spoken in foreign languages about chicken delivery or threats to carve their name into my arm and make them watch me bleed unless they picked up the phone, and lawd knows when I smoke a doobie I need my microphone, I can talk up a motherfucking tsunami! This blog is that microphone, ok now you know it.

Did you really think that I could rant like that without any assistance to blind my judgement and unrestrict my word-flow?

Also this blog has become somewhat of a lie. Hex no longer resides in the city, she lives in the middle of nowhere, and life has changed a great deal. Hex on the farm is obviously what this blog should be renamed, but who changes the name of their blog after 3.5 years?

But really it wouldn't change that much as a blog because Hex is still Hex. You can take the Hex out of the city but you can't take the City out of the Hex. It's funny because though I lived the young adult city lifestyle for the last decade, I come out here and love it so much it feels like I belonged here all along. And what "here" means is THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. Not in a city or a town, no neighbours, solitary. I of course have my man and my kitties, but solitary with them.

People have let me down so much just in general as a society I no longer want to be living in close proximity to any. That is bad. But it's the truth. I couldn't just live in the middle of one of these towns out here because that to me would almost be worse, no anonymity, everyone will know your story and what you buy at the drug store, if you drink too much, that you had chlamydia, and if you write bad cheques. No really, theres a list at the grocery store by here on the tills that reads "DO NOT ACCEPT CHEQUES FROM THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE:" With First and last fucking names.

The further you go off the highway, the more it starts to resemble scenes from The Hills have eyes, the weirder the people, and the intelligence level takes a fucking nose dive. Common responses to questions posed to Sales clerks in these towns are:

"Huh?"
"I have no idea"
{stares into space} "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

What baffles me is that with this many dumb dumbs everywhere I call or go for any reason, I can't get a fucking job to save my life. WTF is that about? I have decided I am not inbred enough, theres no other reason. Oh maybe because my last name is not one of 5 Ukrainian names from 'round here neither.

Life is different out here. It's slower paced, you dump your own garbage at the dump, you burn the rest of it, and there are tire piles up to the sky. There's big fuzzy caterpillars that you don't see in the city anymore.

You can shoot a gun or blast fireworks, burn whatever shit you damn well please or crank the death metal to 100 and roam around in your underwear, which I prefer to do all simultaneously. Love it.

Everything for me has been dandy out here except the job hunt situation. I worked briefly at a golf course 30 minutes away but had to quit that nonsense, and then been on other interviews after repeated emails to the same employer, haven't gotten those, it's enough to make you very discouraged, look at yourself like WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? Why can't you get a fucking job?

Well I have decided to go back to school for Medical Transcription. I can do that from home. Plus I get to decipher medical jargon all day, love it. That actually is fun for me. I've seen so much of my own I am really practically a certified doctor without any certification! Next best thing is data entry of doctor speak. And guess what.... you can do it from home! Thats right, I wouldn't even have to go out and work side by side with some idiot that only got the job cause she knows so and so's cousin uncle.

I am starting school the SECOND my books get here. I couldn't be hungrier for information and knowledge since my last shitty job, working with the public just is not going to work for me ever again. I am done letting people crush my soul slowly but surely through all my years of serving the public and no more my friends, no more. I need to be using my brain more than just figuring out the best way to deal with a jerk with a chip on his shoulder demanding money back. I'd like more of a challenge than smiling for the public offers me.

Don't think I haven't found my ways of getting even with these soul crushers through the years though. If you're sneaky you can at least have yourself a little bit of satisfaction. I had a couple of shitlists, wrote down the name or even just a description of the asshole, something like "Ugly crotch nosed piss face, your dicks so small it's an innie, may your wife cheat on you and your house burn to the ground." Those things I really wrote down. It helped me to just let go, instead of taking home all that shit and letting it destroy my evening, I'd get a list of 5 or so shitty people and my wishes for them, and leave work and burn the list or flush it down the toilet.

It always helped me go back to work day after day and endure the assholery.

Take that how ever you want it, if you think it's crazy you really don't know me do you.

Hey, that was fun, ever so random, and kind of hurt my fingers from typing since it's been so long. I will leave you with this equally random tune, because I am totally on a Scorpions kick right now.


http://youtu.be/GY3BTyLh8vQ

-E.